To our son on his 21st birthday…

                                             

My dear boy, you have now reached the age of legal majority in India so technically you’re now a man! Can you believe that? I mean how can I ever forget those moments when you twisted and rolled inside my tummy causing bulges to move and shift like sand dunes, then the moment when I first held you in my arms; you stretched with your tiny hands and yawned with that tiny mouth making you look so adorable. That journey of ours, which began together 21 years ago, is now mostly going to be a solo trip for you as you embrace legal adulthood.

It’s been three years since you graduated from school and embarked on a new journey which made you move far away from us. You remember the countless times during the school years when we threatened to send you away to hostel because you wouldn’t live life the way we wanted? You know as much as we do, that those were just shallow threats as we could’ve never sent you away at that tender age. We wanted you more than probably you wanted us. And now that you’ve been away for quite some time, I feel so blessed that we got to be together for a good eighteen years. If one could have all that one desires, then we would love to envelop you in our arms forever, but sending you far away was a conscious decision because a bird cannot fly unless let out of its cage. We wanted you to experience life on your own and that could never have happened, had we selfishly kept you around.

Turning 21 means you’re at the threshold of the peak of youth. This decade will bring about so many novel experiences that you might just get exhausted! Graduating from college, thinking about Post Grad, the struggles of placement, the entanglement of relationships, some heartbreaks, some back stabbings, some beautiful moments, some travel experiences, some friends getting married and some still wondering what to do in life…….you’ll be seeing it all through this decade.

This will be an overwhelming phase of life. From being the child who’s constantly fawned upon and asked about his requirements, you’ll be expected to do things for others as you’re youthful and strong now. Though your opinion has always been valued, now you might also be a crucial decision maker in many ways. As children turn older, parents start relying more and more on them and you, my dear, are our backbone. However, I hope you are not assuming that you won’t have to listen to us anymore.  That stays. Ok!

We want you to soar high, not in terms of monetary success but in terms of sincere contentment of the heart. That feeling of accomplishment, once you’ve completed a task honestly and with full commitment to it, is unparalleled! Put your heart and soul into the things that matter, things that bring about positive changes in life.

Success in our human world is measured in terms of the money one is making but you, my boy, should never sacrifice your personal happiness and health and join that rat race which millions around the world are participating in. Of course, you have to live your life, and you know as well as anyone that making money is part and parcel of the deal but work only to fulfil the needs of yourself and your dependents and under no circumstances at the cost of your mental sanity. Keep that balance in place.

Start investing from the time you get your first salary even though it might just be a very tiny amount but the age old saying of ‘boond boond se hee sagar banta hai’ is absolutely true. Disciplined and consistent investments yield long-term results. You’ll be tempted to blow away all your money as that will be the first time you’ll have access to your own salary but being sensible is the key. Short term pains give long term gains.

Travel the world and gain experiences. You’ve had the privilege of traveling extensively since childhood and I’m sure you treasure those experiences so, instead of wasting your money on being sloshed every weekend (like most youngsters), plan exquisite trips across India and around the world. There is so much a person can learn from something as enjoyable as travelling.

Value the relationships you have with people around you. Be cynical but not overly assessing. Treasure those who have stayed with you through thick and thin.

If you’re lucky enough, some lovely girl will enter your life and brighten it. Appreciate her, respect her and love her with all your heart if she’s worth it but don’t let yourself be trodden upon like a doormat ever in any relationship. If you respect someone, you deserve it equally in return.

At times things will not turn out the way you wanted them to, and it might seem that nothing around you is favorable. At such times, do not succumb to the pressure. Remember not all things are under our control. Try all in your might to rectify a situation but once you’ve given your best and it still is unsolvable, slowly retract from the situation/person. Remember not to invest your time and energy in things that are irreparable. You’ve often heard Dad tell you about sunk cost fallacy. It is as applicable in other things as it is in investment.

Do not ever think that you know everything. There is much to learn from everyone around you. A seemingly insignificant person or moment might have an important life lesson to teach you. So never be assuming, arrogant and self-absorbed.  Have an open mind, not superficially but actually. Learn to appreciate the qualities others have. Complimenting people comes naturally when you have a good heart. People feel happy when they are complimented and appreciated even for tiny things which you have noticed in them. So, make an effort to notice things and tell them things you like about them. Don’t be too liberal with showering compliments also though as it then diminishes their value but do not reserve them too. Use them appropriately, as and when you genuinely feel the need. 

Finally, before wrapping up this letter, I’d like to reinforce that you mean the world to us. For others you are just another human being on this planet but for us, you are our universe. So, take care of yourself, enjoy life, stay healthy both mentally and physically. God bless you always.

                                                          

                                                          Happy 21st Birthday love <3

A life changing move!

 

The year 2024 brought about a sea change in our lives. When I say sea change, I mean it in the literal sense. My sailor husband, after having contemplated quitting the sea for quite some time, finally decided to do so in the month of July as he returned from one of his voyages. He hadn’t intended it to be his last (second or third last definitely) but then he had an epiphany and in that moment of realization, he felt it was now or never and thus started our foray into the world of semi-retirement.

Due to his flourishing sea career spanning almost three long decades, he had a plethora of shore job opportunities coming his way, but he was determined not to spend another night awake for work even if it meant bidding adieu to several tempting offers. Money was not the driving force anymore, only some intellectual stimulation and a feeling of being worthwhile and therefore, training prospective sea cadets seemed the most appropriate way of giving it back to the seafaring community.

That sorted, now the pressing question was where to spend the sunset years of our lives. Even though we had a large and beautiful apartment nestled in the loveliest residential condominium yet there was a feeling of unrest owing to the growing problem of pollution in the NCR region. This again had been on our radar for the last two years when our son graduated from school and left for college. We often discussed that there was nothing holding us back in NCR any further and we must take the plunge but finding the right place to move seemed to be a challenge.

Growing up in the hills, I have a special place for them but however much I love the hills, the thought of going bone cold in the winters was petrifying. Goa is our all-time love as we love the culture and also my sailor husband wanted to be able to be close to the sea, but then again, there was nothing for hubby dear to do there which would enable him to have peaceful nights. All those who know us well were aware of this constant dilemma which would at times take a backseat when we thought of the comfort zone in which we were living. Then again in a few days, reality would bite when smog would envelop the area and GRAP 4 would be in place.

Eventually one of our friends told us about an opening in the quaint village of Karjat in Maharasthra. Strategically located in the Western Ghats, it provided a perfect combination of hills and close proximity to the sea, along with a wonderful college to work in. Much to the shock of our friends and family, in the short span of just a week, we decided to make the big move cause if we contemplated any longer, we would definitely have chickened out.

With just one month in hand to wind up everything, catch up with our family and friends, serve our one month notice at work and mentally prepare ourselves, we had an overloaded schedule.

The concern of meeting all our friends before leaving was quickly solved as we both had our upcoming birthday, so it was the perfect opportunity to throw a party and meet them all together. So along with other things, the party planning also jumped in! With one friend providing his farmhouse as the venue and another providing a list of caterers to choose from, it wasn’t too tough to plan but since we’re not into active party hosting, it wasn’t quite a perfectly done affair. Thankfully, we’ve chosen our friends well and none of them, despite their fancy lifestyles and experience at hosting soirees, is snooty. For this, we absolutely love them!

Birthday party done, my nieces arrived from New Zealand, the very next morning. This was the first time they had come to spend a couple of days with us alone. Naturally the excitement at my end was palpable. Despite the crazy schedule, we had decided to give them ample time as it was a rare opportunity and now, knowing that we were moving to a village, it was even more important for me to make the max out of this visit of theirs. We had fun together and created some lovely memories.

Time was ticking by, and we had much left to accomplish. The biggest challenge was the task of segregation - what to discard, what to leave behind an what to take. Three separate lists and nothing going easy. It is heart wrenching to part with things you have painstakingly put together over the years, but we reminded ourselves that all these are just materialistic things and what matters most is always intangible. This was the motivating force, and we distributed things left, right and center trying to ensure they reached the right people who would appreciate their value by using them.

Being avid readers, the three of us had accumulated several books. Despite giving away bags full of books, time and again, we would somehow again end up with truckloads. It was time to yet again part with them and this time, it was almost our entire stock that we had to give away. That was the most hurtful!

Next was the search for a place to live in Karjat. Staying in Greater Noida, we were accustomed to having a real estate at every hundred meters but that was not the case in Karjat. I spent tiresome hours trying to catch hold of some agent but came up empty handed. So, I decided to explore on my own over the internet. The next challenge was to find a 3bhk. After extensive search, I found out that 3 bhk wasn’t a thing in Karjat. Most of the apartments were 1RK or 1bhk. After getting to know this, 2bhk also started to seem a luxury and so the hunt for 2bhk started. Next, I found out that modular kitchen is not a concept in Karjat. They just give you a slab/ countertop just like in the old days. Compromising over the size of the house was one thing but giving up the convenience of a proper modular kitchen was another. Eventually after much search, I found just the right society, but the problem was finding someone who had an apartment there and was looking for a prospective tenant.

With our tight timeline, going to Karjat and exploring the place ourselves was not possible. Thankfully, we were able to connect with a young energetic boy, who agreed to visit the place and act as an agent for us. My joy knew no bounds when we were finally able to get a 2bhk with a modular kitchen!

Moving from a lavish 4bhk+study to a tiny 2bhk (Mumbai size), we had to take along bare minimum. Technically, we could take almost nothing and what we could, had to be done very mindfully. My meticulous husband found, took out the floor plan of the apartment, measured everything that we were planning to take along and tried to visualize where we would place which piece of furniture. This again was a cumbersome process, but it gave us confidence that we would be able to fit in the things we were planning to take.

During this time, there was so much else also going on that it is difficult to explain and put on paper. My husband’s changed residential status, our son’s semester break visit, a quick trip to Dehradun as it was the first time in all these years that my sister and I along with our respective spouses and kids, were able to be with our parents. Even though it was just for a couple of hours, we had to do this. Then we had our very adorable cousin who flew all the way from Singapore to spend a day with us before we moved and a visit from my mother-in-law whom we wished to have home before we left.

Apart from this, the emotional weight of leaving behind some friends who never thought you would leave and the students who were so attached that one could never have imagined the extent of their sorrow until it was witnessed live on the last day at school.

Finally, the year 2025 kicked in and just a week was left for the big move!

With frosty weather outside and molten hearts inside, we loaded the truck and the following day, left for Karjat. The plan was to drive for three days and cover a distance of 1600 kms.

They say, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, and so our journey of precisely 994.194 miles began on the 8th of January 2025.

What life has in store, whether this decision turns out to be as desired or will it be a rotten mistake, that only time will tell. As of now, we have decided to live in the moment. Let’s take each day as it comes!

 

Recipes for daily Navratri fasting

 

Looking forward to detoxifying our bodies, we decided to fast for all the Navratri days instead of the usual first and last that we always did. It was going to be a challenging task, I warned my foodie husband cause his day starts and ends with, ‘What are we eating?’ However, with his persistence, he finally won and we decided to go ahead. I succumbed and my initial resistance faded away.

Contrary to the popular pattern where most people assume it is an ‘eating fest’, I prefer to observe it in a slightly stricter way, not very but just slightly and that means having salt only once a day and no munching on vrat chips, vrat namkeen and nuts in between. So the morning would start with some fruits, the day would progress with a bowl of kheer or a glass of lassi or some shake and then finally the ‘phalahari’ meal post sunset. Ahoy! The detox went for a toss as we savored the delicious Navratri special meals. Believe me, the days went by like a breeze and in the end, we emerged radiantly victorious!

So, in case any of you are looking forward to fasting for the entire Navratri period and wondering what to cook, here’s a quick guide to keep you satiated for the entire duration.

Day 1- Fruit bowl, Makhane (Fox nut) ki kheer and Rajgira (Amaranth) aloo paratha

Lunch recipe - Makhane ki kheer- 1 litre milk, one cup makhane, roasted in a spoon of ghee and coarsely crushed. Dry fruits of your choice. I took almonds, cashews, walnuts, and raisins. Coarsely crush the dry fruits and keep them aside. Cardamom/Elaichi powder and sugar 5-6 spoons.

Bring milk to a boil and reduce the flame. Add the crushed makhane, cook on low flame while stirring from time to time to avoid burning. In about half an hour, the milk will slowly get reduced and the color will start changing from white to a little brown. Add the remaining nuts along with cardamon powder. Keep stirring. About 15 minutes later add sugar. Let it slowly cook on sim till it thickens. This should take about -1.5 hours in total. Kheer is ready.

 

Dinner- Rajgira (Amaranth) aloo paratha (makes about 10 parathas)

Take about 2 cups of Amaranth flour. It is a millet so binding will be easier with the boiled potatoes. Add 5 medium sized boiled and grated potatoes. Finely chop 2 green chillies and green coriander. Add this to the flour mixture. Then add rock salt (sendha namak) and roasted cumin (jeera) powder. Mix all these and knead into a dough. Water will not be required to bring the mixture together but if required, just dip your hands in warm water and knead.

Rolling out will not be an easy task since amaranth is gluten free, so it is advisable to place the ball in between two thick plastic sheets greased with ghee. Roll it out slowly and then transfer onto a skillet. This is again going to be tricky as the paratha might just break but doing it patiently will help. Use ghee to cook the paratha on both sides. It will turn out to be crispy and delicious. Serve with curd. 

 

Day 2- Fruit bowl, Lauki ki kheer and Kuttu ki pakodi.

Lunch- Lauki ki kheer – 1 litre milk, 1 small sized bottle guard (lauki/doodhi) peeled and grated, nuts of choice, sugar and ghee.

Peel and grate lauki. It should be tender and not bitter. Bring milk to a boil and reduce the flame. Meanwhile, take a pan, add a spoon of ghee and roast the grated lauki for about 5 minutes. Then add it to the milk.

Keep stirring taking the ladle to the bottom of then pan. As milk reduces, keep scraping the edges of the pan and mixing the crusty cream into the kheer. After about 45 minutes, add the nuts. Then in another 15 minutes, add sugar and cardamom powder. Keep stirring and cooking. You can cook for 1.5-2 hours, depending how thick you like it. Once done, serve it hot or chilled.

Dinner – Kuttu (buckwheat flour) ki pakodi

Boil and grate 3 medium sized potatoes. Thinly slice and chop 3 medium sized raw potatoes. Take a bowl, put the two in it. Now add ½ a cup Kuttu to it. You may increase the quantity depending upon the consistency. Add finely chopped ginger, green chillies, coriander leaves, rock salt, black pepper powder, cumin seeds and mix. Do not add water unless required. Just a spoon would do if necessary to bring the mixture together.

Take a wok, add peanut oil to it (any oil extracted from seeds is not consumed). When the oil is hot enough that a little smoke is arising, add tiny portions of the mixture using a spoon or hand, whatever works for you. Remember the flame should not be too high else the pakodis will not get cooked from the inside.

Transfer onto a paper towel to remove excess oil and serve with chutney.

Chutney can be made by using just coriander leaves, mint leaves and green chillies. Grind these together. Add lemon juice and salt. Done. 

                                            

 Day 3- Fruit bowl, Milkshake and Sabudana (tapioca) khichdi

Lunch – Milk shake – Take two glasses of cold milk, add two bananas and two apples chopped into pieces. Add sugar as per your taste. Blend them together in a mixer jar. Serve chilled.

Dinner- Sabudana/Tapioca khichdi

Wash and soak a cup of sabudana for about 6 hours. Pro tip: Do not use too much water else the pearls will become clumpy. Just half an inch above it. The sabudana pearls will become soft and fluffy and should get squashed if you try. Drain out any excess water completely.

Dry roast peanuts and once they cool, coarsely crush them. Also take some ghee in a pan and roast about 2 tbsp peanuts until slightly brown. Keep it aside.

Take a pan, add jeera. Once it splutters, add finely chopped ginger and green chillies. Roast till the raw smell goes away. Then add one boiled potato cut into cubes. It will turn a little brown. Then add the fluffy sabudana pearls. Add salt, a hint of sugar and a little black pepper powder. Mix gently. Cover and cook for 2-3 minutes. The sabudana will turn a little translucent. Uncover, squeeze half a lemon, add two spoons of the crushed dry roasted peanut and the other ghee roasted peanut. Toss it together. Garnish with finely chopped coriander leaves and serve. 

                              

Day 4- Fruit bowl, Milkshake and Samak (Barnyard millet) khichdi

Lunch – Dry fruits milkshake – Soak 8 cashews, almonds, walnuts, and figs for about half an hour. Once softened, transfer to a blender jar. Add two glasses of cold milk. Sugar as per taste. Blend and serve chilled.

Dinner- Samak khichdi –

Wash and soak 1 cup barnyard millet for about 15 minutes. Meanwhile chop carrot, potato, beans, cauliflower and cottage cheese into small pieces.

Heat ghee in a pressure cooker. Add jeera and curry leaves. Once they splutter, add the vegetables. Stir fry the veggies. Add salt. Then add green chillies and the soaked millet. Add about 4 spoons of curd and water about an inch above the millet level. Close the lid of the cooker. Give 3 whistles. And tadaa! Khichdi is ready. You may add ghee on top and make it more flavorful. Garnish with fresh coriander leaves and crushed dry roasted peanuts. Serve with curd and chutney. 

                                                

Day 5-Fruits bowl, Barnyard millet kheer and Singhada atta (water chestnut flour) poori with sitaphal/kaddu (pumpkin) sabzi

Lunch- Samak kheer-

Wash and soak 1/4^th cup samak for about 20 mins. Pour one litre milk in a pan. Bring it to a boil and reduce the flame. Then add the soaked samak to it. Keep stirring on low flame. Barnyard millet fluffs up and so the kheer will soon start thickening. Add chopped nuts of your choice along with cardamom powder. Finally add sugar as per your taste. 5-6 spoons work for me. The kheer will be ready in one hour. In case the kheer thickens after cooling, you can add a few spoons of boiled and cooled milk to it to adjust the consistency.

Dinner- Singhada atta poori-

Take 2 cups of atta, about 4 medium sized boiled potatoes peeled and grated, rock salt and cumin powder. Mix these together and knead. It is sticky so might give you a problem. Add a spoon of hot water if there is difficulty in assembling the dough. Divide the dough into 12-14 balls.

Then heat oil in a wok. Gently roll the balls. You may use the two plastic sheets technique is normal rolling with pin turns tricky. Keep it a little thicker than your normal poori. Fry on both sides. 

                                                      

Kaddu ki sabzi – Thinly slice 250 grams of kaddu. Put a spoon of oil in a pan, add a spoon of jeera. Once it crackles, add the kaddu slices, finely chopped ginger, green chillies and sprinkle salt as per taste. Add 2-3 spoons of water to prevent it from burning. Cover and cook on low flame. Keep stirring in between. Once it turns soft, add a hint of sugar, amchoor (dry mango powder) or lemon juice. We do not use coriander powder and red chilli powder in our vrat recipes. In case you do, you may add these. Mix all. Cover and cook for about 5 more minutes. Garnish with finely chopped coriander leaves and serve it hot with pooris and curd.

Day 6- Fruits bowl, Milkshake, Sabudana vada

Lunch- Dates and raisins milk shake- Soak 8-10 dates and raisins in water for about 10 minutes. Take two glasses of cold milk. Add to blender jar. Blend it all together. Sugar will not be required as dates and raisins are already sweet. Serve chilled.

Dinner- Sabudana vada-

Wash and soak a cup of sabudana for 6-8 hours. Drain out any excess water once sabudana pearls turn squishy. Boil 6 potatoes. Peel and mash the boiled potatoes. Finely chop ginger, green chillies and coriander leaves. Dry roast 2 tbsp peanuts and crush them. Mix all the above ingredients together. Add rock salt, black pepper powder and roasted cumin powder for taste. Combine well. Divide the portion into balls. You may flatten them into discs if frying or leave them as balls if not. These can be cooked in three ways-

1.    Deep fry- Pour oil into a wok. Once it is piping hot meaning you can see a little smoke rising, gently put the tikki into the oil. Fry till it turns crispy brown. Before putting the vada/tikki into the oil, you have to ensure the tikki has no visible cracks and the oil is really hot, failing which the vada/tikki will burst and will be of no use.

2.    Shallow fry- Pour oil in a shallow pan and place the tikkis. Flip when one side is brown. Cook the other side as well.

3.    Appe pan- Grease the appe pan and place it on low flame. Put the sabudana balls into the cavities and cook on both sides until they turn brown.

Serve with chutney.

                                                             

 

Day 7- Fruit bowl, Gajar ka halwa and Pharali dosa with peanut chutney

 

Lunch – Gajar ka halwa- Peel and grate one kg red carrots. Turn on the flame and place a pressure cooker over it. Add 2 spoons of ghee. Once the ghee is hot, add the grated carrots. Roast for about 3-4 minutes. Then add half a cup of milk. Mix it well. Close the lid of the cooker and let it cook for 3-4 whistles. Turn off the flame. Once the steam is out, uncover the cooker. Place another pan on the flame. Add a spoon of ghee and the cooked carrot to it. Keep stirring and cooking. You may add nuts of your choice. Then add sugar as per taste. Keep cooking on low flame. I do not add khoya, but you may add it you wish. Cook for about 1 hour and you gajar halwa is ready to eat. This is one of the quickest recipes to make gajar halwa!

 

Dinner – Pharali dosa and peanut chutney

 For dosa- ½ cup samak/Barnyard millet washed and soaked for 1 minutes, ½ cup rajgira/amaranth flour, ½ cup buttermilk, one spoon paste of ginger and green chillies and rock salt.

Drain out the water from samak and blend it in a jar adding just a few spoons of water as required to make a smooth paste. Then add rajgira, buttermilk, ginger-green chilli paste and salt to taste. Cover and let it ferment for 8 hours. Once fermented, take a nonstick tawa/ dosa tawa and grease it. Spread the batter and cook until crisp.

Peanut chutney to accompany dosa- 1 cup dry roasted and coarsely crushed peanuts, 3/4^th cup curd, 1 tsp ginger-green chilli paste, rock salt and cumin powder. Blend these together in a mixer jar. Add a little bit of lemon juice if required.

       

Day 8 – Durgashtami Prasad – Chana, Poori and Suji halwa

 

Kaala chana- Soak 1 cup chana overnight. Drain and wash with fresh water. Transfer to a pressure cooker, add water 1 inch above its level. Add salt, one cinnamon stick and one black whole cardamom. Close the lid and cook for 4-5 whistles until done. The chana should be soft enough to get quashed when placed between two fingers. Now take another pan. Add a spoon of ghee. Take a In a bowl take a spoon of water, mix 1tsp of haldi, 2 tsp of Kashmiri red chilli powder, 2 tsp of coriander powder, 1 tsp of cumin powder and 1 tsp of amchur powder and form a smooth paste. Put this paste in the heated ghee. Stir for a few seconds. Then add the cooked chana. Salt was added while boiling so there is no need for more salt. Cover and cook. Add a spoon of crushed kassori methi leaves and cook. Evaporate the water and then garnish with fresh coriander leaves and slit green chillies.

 

Sooji ka halwa- 1 cup rawa/sooji, 1 cup ghee and 1 cup water and 1 cup sugar.

In a pan add ghee, then add rawa to it. Keep the flame on low and stir the sooji continuously. It should slowly turn brown. If you cook on high flame, there will be no taste. In another pan, pour water, sugar and 1tsp of cardamom powder. Put it on low flame. Meanwhile, add a spoon of besan to the sooji and keep cooking. Once the sooji besan mixture is sufficiently brown and fragrant, add nuts of your choice. These nuts can be roasted in ghee to give a crisp texture. Turn off the flame and slowly add the water sugar mixture while continuously stirring. Turning off the flame prevents accidents from spluttering rawa. Turn on the flame again on low and keep stirring until you get your desired consistency. Garnish with more chopped nuts and desiccated coconut.

 

Poori- Take two cups of wheat flour. Add water and knead into a soft dough. Divide the dough into lemon sized balls. Roll then into pooris and fry.

          

So, this was our Navratri food fest journey which went quite smoothly. It was fun. For all those who worry about how they will manage, I am sure this recipe guide will be of significant help. Since cooking is not science like baking is, I mostly do not use measurements. However I have tried to give measurements where I could.

 In case you have any queries, do post them in the comment section. Till then, Happy Navrati and Happy Fasting!