Women's Day - What's in ONE day?

ALL THE "HUNGAMA" ABOUT WOMEN’S DAY

Scores of wishes on facebook, loads of forwards on whatsapp and too many advertisements trying to cash on the sentiment….that was how eventful, the 8^th of March, 2017 was. Well it wasn’t an ordinary day after all! It was one of the most widely celebrated days – International Women’s Day.

While everyone around me exults in the glory of the day, this “special day” always makes me feel very bitter. Call me negative, regressive or whichever adjective suits you best, but this day doesn’t make me excited at all. On the contrary, it annoys and angers me tremendously. For all you those wondering what’s wrong with me, let me tell you, it’s not me. It is WHERE and HOW we live.

The whole world celebrates women on this special day but what are we Indians celebrating this day for? One odd day, India suddenly decides to make its’ women folk feel great about themselves. There will be a card and flowers from the HR department, a box of chocolates from someone, some beautiful inspirational quotes on your FB wall, some emotional messages on your whatsapp, too many advertisements celebrating the successful woman, restaurants and cafes selling deals, jewellery and apparel stores offering discounts and then, the very next day, all of this just fizzles out….I repeat…. just fizzles out…. like the fizz of a soda.

Is this, what women deserve? Just one fancy day to celebrate womanhood? Out of 365 days, we idolise women on this ONE day and on ALL the other days, we are happy to treat them like crap! We Indians are comfortable in objectifying women, in treating them as one’s own personal property, in slut shaming them whenever we feel like, not batting an eyelid before saying something derogatory to them, violating their modesty at our own free will and then on the 8^th of March, we will celebrate Women’s Day!

Why should we celebrate it? Oh yes! I know the answer. The entire world is celebrating it, then why should we be left behind. However much like a prawn we are, spineless and with a head full of shit, yet we don’t want to be labelled as backward. Do we? What a colossal shame!

So, for all the wonderful Indians who banked upon the idea of celebrating Women’s Day, in whichever way suited them best, please refrain from doing so in the future. Not until we Indians are actually prepared for it. By preparation I mean, respect all the worthy women in your life (I’m sure most of them will be). As they say, everything begins at home. So instead of looking outside, first learn to respect your mother, who works tirelessly for you; your sister, who cares for you; your wife, who does everything for you because she loves you and your daughter, who deserves to choose a happy life for herself.

Once you’ve learnt this, you will automatically learn to respect every other woman. Respect them in the actual sense. Don’t mistake their friendliness for flirtatiousness, don’t mistake their way of dressing for an open invitation, don’t look down upon her if she chooses to party late into the night with her friends, don’t think she’s available if she’s alone, don’t judge her for the choices she makes and most importantly – don’t mistake her love for you to be her weakness.

India will be in position to celebrate Women’s Day, the day our women feel safe on the roads, the day they are not victimised for being a woman, the day when they are not thrown acid at, the day when they are not leered at, the day when no one feels them up in a crowded place, the day when they have no apprehensions of leaving home after dark, the day when no one walks up to them at the bar with the line – “Waiting for someone or waiting for just anyone?”

That is the day, when India will actually be prepared to celebrate Women’s Day, and why just one day, every day then will be a celebration.

Until then, there’s absolutely no point in it. A woman definitely deserves a lot more than just one day to glorify her.

Image credits: Google

The horrific paedophiles!

                         Paedophiles around! Beware!!!

Recently the newspapers of Delhi were flooded with news of a paedophile named Sunil Rastogi who was apprehended on the complaint of parents whose daughters could have been victims of this man’s carnal desires had they not raised an alarm in time.

The man when caught, claimed to have sexually abused over 500 girl children over a span of 12 years!!!

This revelation is so spine chilling! Imagine a man who is a serial rapist, has been freely roaming around for the last twelve years.

Such disturbing news pieces, make it important for parents, to sit back and think deeply about paedophiles.

·        So, who exactly is a paedophile?

Not going into the technicalities and making it simple, a paedophile is an adult who is sexually attracted towards children specifically those who have not yet attained puberty.

It isn’t that parents are not aware of such people existing in the society but it is extremely important to identify them in the first place. Not that it is easy task, but a little alertness can go a long way in saving your child from being victimized.

A paedophile does not stand out from the crowd, in fact such people easily merge with the crowd and so go unidentified.

·        In most cases paedophiles are known to the child.

The movie, Kahaani 2, had the gory tale of a little girl being sexually molested by her own uncle! However strange it may sound, studies reveal that in 30% cases of child molestation, predators are close family members. While this is shocking for most of us, those who have undergone such trauma will vouch for it.

If not a family member, then around 60% cases have molesters, who were known to the child and their family.

Isn’t it sad to think that a person whom the child and the family trusts, turns out to be the same person who scars the future of the child forever?

·        Though not evident, still there are certain identifiable characteristics of paedophiles.

A paedophile doesn’t show much interest in adults and likes to be with children. To be able to be amongst children, they take up jobs which will let them interact more with children. They refuse to treat children as babies and try to interact with them as adults often referring to them as they would to an adult lover.

Being good with children and enjoying their company doesn’t necessarily mean that a person is a paedophile, so please don’t go maniac about it. Just keep an eye on the way that person is interacting with your child. A paedophile will normally try to gain the trust of a child and slowly involve the child in sexual games, expose them to porn videos and encourage them to keep secrets from their parents.

Now that we know, who and how threatening paedophiles are, the big question is what should parents do?

The first thing that parents should do is –

·        Educate your child :

The first and most important step is to educate your child. It is important that children are educated about good touch and bad touch from very early in life. If you are not being able to understand how to do it, seek the help of the internet. You will come across various animated videos which will make it easier for you to communicate what you want, to your child in a way , she/he understands best.Children are way smarter than we think and will be able to differentiate between the two easily if their parents have pre-warned them.

·        Develop a bond :

It is imperative that parents develop a deep bond with their children. Whether you’re a working parent or a homemaker, either ways, you should not let your child be emotionally detached from you. Talk to your child frequently so that the child knows that she/he can trust you no matter what happens.

This bond developing does not happen overnight. It is a slow process which starts from when the child is an infant. So don’t wait for any special moment but continuously work on the trust building factor right from the time you become a parent.

·        Be vigilant :

Always ensure that you know the whereabouts of your child. If your child uses private transport (like a car) to school, try to have someone accompany the child. 

In case the child uses school transport, make sure that the bus has suitable arrangements in place like a nanny to accompany the children.

If you send your child to a day care, be sure that the place is equipped with CCTV cameras so that nobody can try any wrong move with your child. Insist on seeing the footage from time to time so that the day care authorities and workers know that they are being monitored.

When playing outdoors,check out if someone is showing extra interest in your child and see if your child is playing with children much above her/his age.

Keep having regular conversation with your child so that they can confide in you if there is anything amiss.

·        Never blame or quieten your child :

Experiencing the worst, if your child has somehow been sexually victimised, the worst one can do as a parent is to blame the child for the act or trying to suppress the incident due to fear of public shaming. If at all your child has fallen prey to a paedophile’s sinister moves, then you must do all you can to comfort your child. It is your duty as a parent to ease out the trauma of the child. However shattering it might be for you as a parent, it is far more traumatic for the child who has undergone it, so gather all your strength and give your child abundant love and care required to deal with the trauma.

Another mistake that parents often make is to quieten the child for fear of public shaming. This is the worst mistake they can make as not only does it scar your child’s psyche, it also lets a paedophile go loose to commit such crimes further. The child in no way is responsible for such an act so one must never blame the child for this. The person who is actually responsible for this must be sent behind bars immediately.

Though the society is flooded with all sorts of crimes these days, rape, molestation and any other form of sexual abuse is the worst form of crime. It is extremely traumatic for the survivor to go on with a regular life after having experienced something as horrific as this. We, as responsible citizens of the society must try to prevent such incidents from happening and if we come across someone who has been victimised, then do all we can to make that person bounce back to life.