To uninhibited laughter and oodles of reminiscing…….

 

#Looking forward

To uninhibited laughter and oodles of reminiscing…….

2020 has finally ended….not a very big deal, every year eventually does, but this was one year which almost ate into everyone’s life and so the world was exultant when it witnessed the dawn of 2021!

Those who know me, are well aware of the fact that I did not have much to complain about this turbulent year. For me, its was filled with total relaxation of the mind, body and soul, unearthing my homemaker side and reconnecting online with some childhood classmates! Here I would like to emphasize on the word ‘classmates’ and not friends, because even though we were together in the same class (a few from different sections) yet we didn’t go beyond a daily ‘Hi!’ or some tiny bits of conversation. It was never like ‘friends’!

So anyhow, three or four years ago I was added to this whatsapp group by one of them whom I was most friendly with in school, among all the other members. It was a tiny close-knit group and I stayed in it quietly, not contributing much to the conversation there. In fact, there was hardly any conversation going on otherwise also. Then came 2019 and we decided to catch up. At least the ones in NCR could catch up and so we ate and laughed, and I caught up on what all had transpired in their lives in the last over 21 years, when I hadn’t met any, but that still meant I couldn’t meet two others who were not in NCR.

Then came the infamous lockdown and herein started our bonding journey. From the very outset of the lock down period, we somehow started chatting and the group slowly became our lifeline. No forwarded messages but still truckloads of messages being exchanged by just the five of us! Keep aside the phone for a while and you would end up missing hundreds of messages. The group became so famous among our family members that they would inquire if they saw us rather free! Coming from the same school and the same beautiful tiny town, we could engage in endless banter, reminiscing and discussing things. Another common binding factor was our undying passion for food. From discussing various state cuisines to dwelling upon authentic Kumaoni recipes and drooling over the food cooked by each one of us, we could go on and on.

We became soul sisters and I bonded with them all in such a way that was unimaginable despite the 11 years I spent with them in school.

We inured to the Covid mayhem but the incantation of the entire period was that there was never a dull moment. We stood with each other through all the upheaval this time caused and managed to bring a smile on each other’s faces.

In 2021, we are looking forward to three big things.

One is the arrival of a new baby, courtesy one of our friends. The baby, we are sure, will be thorough with our names and voices by the time she/he makes a grand entry into this world, and we are certainly, quite proud of that fact!

The other is, getting to taste the savouries of our entrepreneur friend’s startup called ‘Samosa Party’ which has several cloud kitchens in Bangalore and she’s soon venturing into the NCR market as well. Desperately waiting to taste those delectable things we just kept eyeing in pictures throughout the year!

Finally, is our much-awaited reunion back in our hometown. We are so looking forward to gorging onto the authentic momos by the Tibetans, the local chowmein, the chaat, the kaafal, the pahadi food, kainchi dhaam ka prasaad, madir ka peda, candy floss on Mall road, churan from the Flats (endless list) and then going for those lovely long trails in the hills where we can immerse in the quiet surroundings. Evenings would be spent, sitting by the lake and looking at the fish swimming happily in the still water and there is so much to do that whenever we talk of the times when we would be able to get back together, we become delirious, discussing and enlisting!!!!

So here we are, into the first week of the year, looking forward to getting vaccinated as soon as possible, so that we can get a slice of our past in the form of a lovely reunion with friends, sharing uninhibited laughter and oodles of reminiscing in our charming quaint little hill town of Nainital!

A page from - The Diary of an ordinary woman

A page from - The Diary of an ordinary woman

 

 

 

Sitting in front of my computer, I wondered what to write. Shall I write a horror story, a romantic one, an adventure story or something else. Haven’t written for long; ‘writer’s block’ maybe, but isn’t that for the famous authors! For people like me who write on and off it can just be termed as lacking a stimulating enough event, which propels me to pick up my laptop and start typing.

So, what motivated me to write today? The answer is- the  feeling of vacuum when one has not written for long. The inspiration, well…. just life!

The weather recently has been quite unpredictable. From unbearably hot days to cool pleasant ones. My mood too has been ranging from flaring hot anger to being happy and satisfied in my space. I am often advised by people around me that I should start working again, what with all the degrees I have safely stocked in my file and my son having flown from my nest to pursue university education. I have ample time to pursue whatever I want but the question that looms large is what to pursue? 

 

Teaching has always been my first love. Right from the time I finished my grade 10 exams, I started tutoring children, helping my friends with certain academic sections and pestering my cousins at times too. It wasn’t the only thing I loved to do but enjoy I certainly did. With passage of time, I kept screening out other career options and starting preparing myself for a career as an academician. When I taught students of varying ages ranging from grade 1 to students pursuing Masters degree, I felt elated. The sheer joy of interacting with my students gave me a high that could not be paralleled with anything else but as they say, all good things must end, and so did this passion for teaching. A career that had been extremely rewarding in terms of love that I earned from my students, turned into a bitter experience with the ever increasing commercialization of education. 

 

Teaching became increasingly restrictive, and projection became more prominent. The fun of conducting a class outdoors and letting a child’s imagination take wings, got hindered by the countless paperwork to show that things were being done better than the other schools. The constant pressure of multiple exams (so many pre-boards that leave me shuddering), the need to prove to parents that ‘something different’ was being done, countless activities, and then the humungous task of finishing the syllabus in whatever little time was left after the ‘parade’ was over, completely sucked out the joy of teaching. I hung up my boots and did not bother to look back. The only regret, I don’t get to see those overzealous bright faces every morning which brought happiness in my life. 

 

Currently I am enjoying my time as a homemaker. Of course, I am not an amazing one but I’m hanging in there. Whoever thought it was an easy job got it totally wrong. I would say, it is the most difficult one yet the most underrated. Unlike me, a home-maker’s day starts very early and ends after everyone in the house has retired for the day. As for me, I am enjoying a retired life currently. Doing things at my own will and pace. I am free to travel, explore and pursue hobbies that I didn’t have time for earlier (these thoughts make me so excited) but this phase is wonderful yet confusing at the same time. Wonderful because of this newfound freedom from routine and confusing because I start wondering if I am missing on something in life. I suppose we all encounter such moments at some point in life.

Looking for something which gives me joy and purpose yet does not bind me. Any ideas? Difficult eh!

So let us see what comes my way. Until then, I will enjoy life as it is and live every day with immense happiness because ye fursat ke pal har kisee ke naseeb mein nahi hotey, muqaddar wale hote hain wo loag, jinhe yu hee sochne ka mauka milta hai :-D

 

Mirchi ka achaar aur bachpan ki yaad!

 

2020 has been a roller coaster ride for people all over the world. Come the 18^th of December, and I will have completed total nine months in complete lock down! No going out anywhere and not letting anyone come home. No maid, no nothing. Wherein several people made babies during this period, I made loads and loads of delectable dishes :-D Ok, bad joke! Agreed, my sense of humor is not great!

So, one month into the lock down, when I resigned from my job, I thought I’ll pick up something soon. Maybe just part time, but then slowly the idea of being a complete homemaker got the better of me and I started enjoying tiny domestic accomplishments!

Today, I conquered another unexplored territory and that was making those mouth-watering pickles which are an Indian household’s indispensable food accompaniment, and immediately I was transported back to the days of my childhood when we would drool over the assortment of pickles that Maa used to make every season.

Summers meant various varieties of Mango pickles, Aam ka achaar, Heeng ka achaar, and Aam ki meethi chutney achaar. My sis was a lover of Aam ka achaar, so Maa had to ensure pickling at least 10kg of raw mangoes so that the supply could be maintained until the following summer. How can I forget those days, when the raw mangoes would be cut and then left to dry in the sun on flimsy cotton fabric! As, the entire neighbourhood slept in the warm sunny afternoon, we children would sneak upon those drying mangoes and eat up almost half of those tangy delights, much to the horror of the ladies who would realize that they had been deprived of their labour by some wayward children. Of course, we felt bad for them, but who would give up the fun we had pilfering those knick knacks!

Then came winters, my time of the year as Maa made my favourite Laal Mirch ka achaar!!! She also made Gajar, gobhi aur Shalgam mixed pickle and not to forget the succulent Nimbu ka achaar! We would stare greedily at the jars packed with those brightly coloured things inside, dipped in mustard oil, mixed with spices, laid out in rows under the bright winter sun. Our friends would be envious of us, as our Maa made the most varieties and the tastiest pickles according to them. We used to be ecstatic as we had those jars full of ‘Neighbour’s envy, Owner’s pride.’

Being brought up in the hills, we had a certain advantage as our school used to be visible from home. We stayed on the hill right opposite to the hill on which our school was, so Maa could see the students spilling on the school road during chhutti time. As soon as she spotted us from afar, she was light up the burner for rice to be cooked and by the time we got home, changed, and sat at the dining table, we would be served steaming rice, with dal, sabzi and our respective favourite pickles! Its strange how the simplest of meals can be so magical! No one in my memory has had the ability to deliver that taste which has settled on my taste buds over the years.

This magic of mom-made pickles continued even after I got married. I was dependent upon Maa for my regular supply of pickles. I just had to say the word, and the pickles would be made. However, this suffered a setback, when Maa started spending time abroad. Whenever she would be away in winters, I would miss my favourite and this annoyed me immensely.

So, this year, with loads of time in my hand, and a burning desire to replicate my Maa’s pickles, I went ahead and made my favourite Laal Mirch ka achaar and the winter staple, Gajar Gobhi and Shalgam ka achaar.

I don’t know whether I’ll be able to do justice to the taste or not, but I surely savoured every moment of making these pickles and was overjoyed to see Maa’s reaction when I showed them to her over a video call.

Besides teaching me so many other things, 2020 has added this one too to my list!

 

Lost innocence of festivals

 

The much-awaited Festival time is here. It’s that time of the year when everything seems joyful around. In India, there’s a festival every week and so you just get tired of the non-stop thing, but personally, I find Diwali to be the most magical one! There’s so much beauty and joy around, that the entire air has a festive vibe to it! What enamours me most is that the whole world seems to be illuminated and everyone has a smile on their face.

During my childhood, Diwali break for us would just be 3 days- Chhoti Diwali, Badi Diwali and Govardhan and right after that would be our final exams, usually within a week if we were unfortunate to have Diwali in November. However, the exam stress never dampened our festive spirits and we would wake up early to finish off some studying, (of course pretend to) before we got involved in the celebrations. Then, we would go up to Mom, ask her for large needles and thread and fervidly pick up marigold flowers from the garden and make garlands with it. God knows, how many flowers we butchered in the process and how many times we pricked our fingers, but eventually, the garlands made us gloat!

This would be followed by Rangoli making and I loved to make elaborate patterns. Of course, this rangoli love set in during teenage only. Prior to that, I would make the Kumaoni Aipan and ‘Laxmi ji ke paer.’ It was a belief that if you made tiny feet on the walkway leading to the temple inside home, Laxmi ji would definitely visit the house that night. Both these activities required me to be adroit as for the feet of Laxmi, I would soak ‘red geru’ in water and make a solution for the circular base on the floor and then I would soak rice and grind it to a paste for making the feet. This was the absolute traditional and preferred way of doing it, as one could just wipe it off after a few days and make fresh ones the following year. Later, I switched to making rangolis, for which I would ask my dad to bring sawdust, then dye it is various colours, spread it on newspapers to dry and finally make rangoli patterns with it.

There was an additional benefit of Diwali. Mom ensured that every Diwali and Holi, we wore absolutely new clothes. Since it used to be terribly cold on Diwali, the usual new clothes would be her famous hand-knitted sweaters. How we loved those and sported them fashionably or we thought so, as I still lack any sense of fashion!

In Kumaon, people make Laxmi ji with sugarcane every year. They make a frame of it, dress up the deity and finish off with a clay painted face. As children, we would visit all the neighbouring houses to have a look at their Laxmi and in the process, enjoy some sweets. ‘Singhal’ a spiral shaped fried savory used to be made in every household and so the target would be to hit that house first, which had the most tasteful ‘singhal.’

Being born in a Brahmin household, we had to bear with the enormously long, never ending pooja and were not allowed to touch the crackers before the pooja got over. The initial enthusiasm with which we sat at the pooja would gradually dissipate and we would start getting grumpy as the clock ticked by and we heard the increasing sounds of crackers outside. My favourite part of the pooja was a small ‘kullhad’ filled with kheel, a piece of mithai and the coins that were kept in it, that was given to us post the pooja.

Then we would rush out and watch the entire town, glittering with lights and the beauty of the town, reflecting in the lake, which majestically stands right in the centre of the town. We weren’t much of cracker kids so barring a few of our own, we would stand outside and just gaze at the fireworks. That was the pleasure of Nainital that apart from rockets and sky fireworks, you could enjoy even a ‘charkhi or anaar’ at someone’s house on the opposite hill!

That is the memory that is still life-like and vivid in my mind.

When it comes to festivals, I have started experiencing anagapesis! What used to make me delirious earlier, I no longer enjoy. I do not intend to disparage the festival, but I get a feeling that everything has become so commercialized now, that the festivals, have lost their innocent charm!

It has all become an occasion of trying to out beat the other in terms of festival shopping, price of gifts, expensive clothing, store bought sweets and a total lack of passion!

Everywhere, there is a mad rush, people making a beeline in the malls, pathetic traffic snarls and of course to top it all, NCR experiences the most horrible time of the year, when pollution levels are at an all time peak due to stubble burning and then there are these bans on fireworks because of it.

The only thing I look forward to now, is meeting friends and family but that too is slowly diminishing, owing to the erratic schedules of people. I long for the time when the festival was simple and uncomplicated. There was just love and happiness all around. You did things because you felt like doing them, not because there was a pressing need to compete with your neighbour or do something to be able to catch up with the things people did on social media.

As they say that people move back to basics sooner or later, I hope the festivals too move back to their old charm!

 

Why I chose a Co-Educational School for my son...

 

Schooling is one of the most important aspects of a child’s life. It forms the foundation on which the building of a child’s entire life depends. No matter what goes on in life, your school will always remain in the picture, therefore one of the major challenges of parenthood is finding the right school for their child.

When we were expecting our son, one subject we discussed was about our son’s education. Both of us were prompt enough to say and agree that we wanted our son to study in a Co-Educational school. Though this is mostly the norm and there’s no big deal about it as such, but since both of us had studied in ‘All girls’ and ‘All boys’ schools respectively, we were not quite comfortable with the idea of sending our son to one such school.

Before you readers fulminate against the topic at hand here, I must clarify that there certainly isn’t anything seriously wrong with single-sex schools and I have quite enjoyed my time there yet I feel that there are some outshining advantages of co-ed schools. Owing to my first-hand schooling experience, I surely can point out some of these.

1.     When you study is a single-sex school, there is always a weird curiosity about the opposite sex. You do not know what kind of people they are, what goes on in their mind, what they do in their school and so its like enigma! You are always in that mystery zone. In a co-educational setup, you know what’s what!

 

2.     A cloud of anxiety looms large in the presence of people from the opposite sex. This is marked by hesitation and discomfort and the person is usually ill at ease whereas in a co-educational school, girls and boys do not care two bits about each other and are quite capable of completely ignoring the presence of the other.

 

3.     Simple events like an invitation from a neighbouring school for an exhibition or a play, become like a huge ‘How do I look’ event. Girls and boys behave as if this is their one and only chance at winning the attention of the other! The hype is overbearing and totally blown out of proportion. In a co-ed school, every day is such, and so the craziness is far less apparent.

 

4.     Since children are thrown together from the very beginning in a co-ed school, they understand the ground realities well and are ready to work together and also pitch against each other in a very healthy manner. No one goes on an ego trip which otherwise can be an issue if one is not attuned to these things.

 

5.     Growing up in a co-educational school, makes you understand the emotions of the opposite sex quite well, and this helps one is dealing with a lot of issues in life. Students become emotionally co-dependent and can help sort out many problems for each other.

 

6.     In a co-educational setup, you learn to mutually respect each other. There isn’t any extreme feeling and so the thought of discrimination doesn’t arise. You learn to peacefully co-habit.

 

7.     And finally, you have an exciting group of people around you for life who know you just too well and can give you fair professional advice if you’re not getting along well with your boss of the opposite sex; and even marital advise from the perspective of your spouse, thereby simplifying one’s life.

 

So even though, we had our share of uninhibited fun in our respective same-sex schools, we felt, it was important to provide our son with a different life, which started with sending him to a co-educational school. Of course, how much a child wishes to socialize with the opposite gender is still her/his prerogative but at least, the option is there!

 

 

 

Fear Psychosis - Don't let it get the better of you....

 

                                     

Corona has been talked about so much since January this year, that the very mention of this word, makes one recoil. Believe me when I say, I wouldn’t have touched this topic again, had it not been for the sudden demise of a friend’s cousin yesterday. This moved her so much that she wanted to communicate the ACTUAL reason to a large number of readers and what better medium, than writing a blog post about it.

Fear psychosis is basically accompanied with anxiety and with so much happening in the world, most of us are living in the constant fear of something untoward happening to us. This paranoia has gripped some of us so terribly that we just cannot take our mind off it. I would be lying if I said, it does not bother me. It does; in fact, so much so, that since March, I have been literally been living under lockdown.

Thanks to the fact that online deliveries have made this period a smooth sail for people like me who do not need to leave home for work. This is basically a step to minimize the chances of contracting the virus, though still not completely negating it. You never know, how and when it takes us in its grip. But what happens when and if it actually does? Should it wreck me completely or should it just be like a roadblock?

Well, now I’ll come back to the point from where I started and that was about this friend’s cousin. All of 43 years, she contracted mild fever and a sore throat and visited the doctor. As any doctor nowadays would recommend, this doc too asked her to undergo a test for Covid. She gave her sample but the next 24 hours of waiting for the test result proved fatal for her as she let fear take over her. Fear is an understatement! She pondered, reflected, contemplated….kept dwelling on the thought of being detected positive with the virus to such an extent that she had a heart attack and immediately succumbed to it.

Imagine the plight of the distraught family members; her children, who will never again see their mother, and not because she died of Covid, but ‘fear psychosis’ got the better of her!

This post, my friends is just to tell you that we are living in uncertain times and we all know that. But maintaining our sanity at this time is tremendously important. The virus is strong but not so strong, so as to drive every person who gets infected, to her/his death bed. All those who follow the news would know that the mortality rate is just about 3%, which indicates that the remaining, will be able to recover and get back to their normal lives. One should be cautious but not paranoid and when I say this, I certainly don’t intend to let loose those people who are so bored of this concept of ‘taking precautions’ that they have decided to throw caution to the wind and venture out without masks, socialize and basically disrespect every warning!

While we certainly should not get paranoid to the extent that our lives are at the mercy of our thoughts, but we should also not take this lightly. Striking a balance is the need of the hour. Those who can stay at home, please do. Those who venture out, please maintain social distance, wear masks and sanitize.

Maintain sanity and good health people. We are all together in this.

RIP Swastika (not her real name). God give your family the strength to deal with this irreparable loss.