Is MEDIOCRITY acceptable?

Just before hitting bed last night, my 16-year old, asked me a pertinent question. He wanted to know, what are the things one should aim for in life? Now getting into a discussion with him is quite demanding, so dying to sleep, I tried to avoid the question, but he was too keen, and I eventually had to relent.

In no particular order, I told him:- Happiness, respect and love. Next, he immediately wanted to know the order these things occurred in my priority list. That I knew was the trap; and I very well knew that I was stepping into one because you say one thing, he says another, and then the conversation goes on endlessly.

Well, I told him that all these things for me are inter-related. The answer did not seem to satisfy him, and he again pressed on for the order. So, I told him, respect comes first. “How?” he wanted to know. I told him, if at the end of the day, a person is able to look into the mirror and respect oneself, then it gives that person immense happiness.

He counter questioned, “Even an evil person respects himself, then should one still aim for it?” “An evil person might live under the false impression of justifying his actions, thereby respecting himself, but he is not respected by anyone in the society,” was my reply.

Pat came another question, “Oh! So, are you now suggesting that one should seek validation from others?”

“Of course,” I replied, “We live in a civilized society wherein our actions determine whether we deserve to command respect from others or not. Therefore, notwithstanding the fact that one should be able to respect himself, external validation is also equally important.” He wasn’t quite happy with this statement of mine.

Then after some more discussion, we touched upon happiness and love.

To bring me to this part had been the very objective of starting this conversation in the first place. He knew I valued happiness and love immensely and that’s where he could play around.

Jumping in immediately, he asked, “What defines happiness?”

Wanting to play the mommy role with him, I instantly said, “The joy parents get from seeing their child succeed in life, is happiness for them.”

“Well, why should happiness depend upon success? Why can’t a person just be mediocre in life and still live happily? Is love really dependent upon success? You both (his parents-us) love me immensely and wouldn’t give up on me in life, even if I decide to lead an average life and not aim for the stars, would you?”, he asked.

As usual, I was stumped! This, has been the crux of his long standing battle with me. He always wants to advocate mediocracy and I keep telling him that he has the brains to make it big, so he must aim for it. At an age when children are preparing for various competitive exams, aiming for the best in life; my boy, is contentedly sitting, thinking that all this is just some rat race, of which he doesn’t want to be a part!

Ever since childhood, he’s never demanded anything. He does not care about his clothes, physical appearance, and does not believe in flaunting anything. I remember once, as a 6-year old, he returned from school, visibly upset. On probing, he asked me, “Why do children have to flaunt money? Don’t they understand, they have done nothing yet to have that money? It is their parents’ money, not theirs!” These words coming from a six-year old had baffled me then.

Often even now, his reasoning leaves me awestruck. He wants to know if nature created children with the ability to say, ‘No’, why then should they be expected to follow everything like a cow and not protest at all?

When I tell him that our happiness or sadness depends upon what he does in life, he stares point blank into my face and tells me, it shouldn’t! Life, he says is a zero. Plus or minus is only the way, we look at it. It is just our perspective towards life. A situation does not make us happy or sad. How we get affected by it, is how we choose to be affected by it!

As a person, I get defeated. As a mother, I do not want to admit that. Hypocrisy! I know…..

He wants to lead an austere life. He doesn’t desire the comforts and luxuries his peers do. I pick him up from school in a rickshaw, on a scooty, a Nano or a Mercedes, it does not bother him! He’s happy to wear a torn pair of shoes if he likes the comfort, even though there may be two absolutely new pairs of the best brand lying at home! That’s our boy! Puzzling to us at many times, yet adorable to the core.

As parents, we feel if mediocrity makes him happy, then so be it. But then something starts gnawing at our heart and we feel, that content though he is right now, he should not regret this later. Later, when there will be no turning back. Later, when time would be lost. Later, when it might appear too late for a fresh start……

I don’t know what the future holds for him but all we wish for is his happiness.

As for the question, “Is mediocrity acceptable?"

Well, if it does not lead him astray, then why not!