Meri sakhi me ang ang aaj rang dar du
Meri sakhi me ang ang aaj rang dar du
Apne ji se prem rang kaise main utar du
Oo meri sakhi
Tere bina kahi bhi na vyakul man lage….
bin har sur taal saaje aaj tere aage
Nainan ko chain nahi rayn rayn jaage…
Ek pal me toot jaye saj ke ye thage
Tu jo mu phere sakhi de hain praan tyaage
Pal pal tu dekh mujhe zindgi guzaar du
Ooo meri sakhi me ang ang aaj rang dar du
Apne ji se prem rang kaise main utar du
Ooo meri sakhi
Teri sakhi teri sakhi teri sakhi
Ooo meri sakhi
(Music credits- Shankar Ehsaan Loy)
Virah…..the ‘Bhaav’ that
caught my attention from the latest web series, Bandish Bandits, speaks volumes
about the hypocrisy of the world we live in.
Though the story has this
element as just one subtle part of the entire weave, yet this is what affected
me the most. The system in India as we know it, is not just divided on the
basis of economic disparity but also on the basis of castes and sub castes.
Every country has its own
limitations and reservations when it comes to the union of two people but in
India, there is an extremely complex game at play.
‘Maan’ – ‘Pratishtha’-
‘Samman’… These are the big words which are mouthed by the elders in the
family in front of the children when they become of marriageable age. In India,
children are brought up into believing that parents are akin to God and their
decision must be final. Any child who dares to go against the will of parents,
shall be subjected to expulsion from the household, not be allowed to carry
the family name forward and in extreme cases, may also become victims of honour
killing!
Sounds extreme, isn’t it?
“Oh! These things don’t
exist these days.” “You must be talking of some old era.” “How can youngsters
be penalized for making their own choices?” “It’s completely illegal!” This
is what a large number of you would say.
Yeah of course, we live
in big towns. Most of us have not seen such things but I’m not talking of some
by gone era. Move just a few kilometres from the glitzy world of metros, into
the smaller towns and villages, and you will find this happening everywhere;
and we all very well know, that India is not just a few metro cities! The pulse
of India lies in the large expanse of its villages.
I would say, all these
big words like, ‘Maan, Pratishtha and Samman’ boil down to just one
small three letter word and that word is EGO.
The size of the word is
small but the weight it carries is immense!
In the show, ‘Bandish
Bandits’, the patriarch has been shown to have a massive ego and despite committing
gruesome crimes like abandonment and forceful/tactful separation, he is still revered
by his family members. The devotion and dedication shown by the family members
is such that it shakes you completely.
Panditji, the character
played by Naseeruddin Shah, willfully leaves behind his wife and son in another
town, and conveniently marries another woman and has two sons with her. Since
he is a classical music prodigy, his first wife sends their son to be trained
by him. Despite never getting the affection of his father and recognition as
his son, the boy stays around for ten years showing utmost devotion to his
father. Ego is at play for he never showers him with any love and treats him
just as every other student.
Next, he is defeated in
the most coveted music competition by a very young girl. To boost his ego, he
devises a sinister plan and gets that girl married to his second son, even
though he is informed well in time that the girl is madly in love with his
first son. He does so because he knows that the first son would never let her
quit music which was her dream, but his own ego was above everything. The first
thing he commands the new bride to do was to give up her singing. The girl does
so out of respect and the first son obviously heart broken, but still
respectful of his father, leaves quietly.
Not a word is said about
anything and the family lives together, worshipping the patriarch and abiding
by every rule and decision he makes.
This unquestionable
reverence is what was quite disturbing for me. One can’t just command respect
due to being in a certain position, it should be earned!
When it comes to children
making their marital choices, Indian parents bring out their Ego in its
strongest form.
I do understand that
parents have wider knowledge and experience and at times they are right as they
wish to protect their children. They could be analyzing situations keeping the
happiness, comfort, and well-being of their children but many a times, their
disapproval is just propelled by their inflated ego. That is detrimental, not
only to the well-being of the child in question but also to the society at
large as it sends across a very wrong signal.
What parents fail to
understand is that they should counsel, advise and reason out with their
children but not become obstacles in their life. Their love, devotion and
respect towards their parents should not be used as a weapon for taking away
their happiness.
So many couples have had
to part ways due to this and have ended up suffering and pining for their lost
love. This forcefully imposed decision does not just spoil the lives of those
two lovers but also deadens the lives of the ones whom they get married to as
they’re never able to overcome their feelings for their separated lovers.
Thankfully, the urban
scenario has changed quite a bit over the last decade. I can see that parents in
cities are becoming flexible and accepting the choices and decisions of their children
but still in many families, this system exists and is in no mood to die down.
The show ‘Bandish Bandits’
captures this system in a fantastic way. The youngest in the family, a twenty-one-
year old young man, is also bound by shackles this so called ‘respect’. Thankfully,
the patriarch realizes his folly after 26 long years and refrains from committing
any further crimes against humanity, but it is a tad bit too late.
Meticulously made, with superb acting from the
characters, the show is an absolute masterpiece! The Classical music renditions
add to the charm of the show and the thumri – Virah is a heart
stealer. The only thing you are left wishing is that the two lovers hadn’t been
separated and wouldn’t have had to experience the bhaav, Virah.
