Tuesday 10 October 2017

A letter to my son

                   A letter to my son on the occasion of Ahoi Ashtami

Dear Ansh,
Years ago, my darling, when I was pregnant and you were on the way, I started a new thing, and that was fasting on the auspicious festival of Ahoi Ashtami. Though I was advised to eat and drink something through the day, I decided to keep a ‘nirjal vrat’ for you my love. Not that it was healthy or advisable but I felt a strong urge to do something which I had never done for anyone ever. (Karwa-Chauth was different since I’d seen your dad and you were not yet born) My heart was flooding with love for the invisible life within me.
Just like any new mum-to-be, my heart was fluttering with joy at fasting for the well-being of the little life that lay kicking inside me. I decided that very day, to love you and protect you from all that is harmful. Just like a tigress fiercely protects her young one, I was all determined to be your protector and guide.
Once again, this festival is here, and it is for the 15th time that I’ll be fasting for you. Over the years I’ve seen you blossom from a little cherub to a young adult. It’s great to see you grow but given a choice, I would love to time travel with you to the past and celebrate your childish innocence once again! Not sure whether you would want to do that though. Anyways, just as this day is approaching, a lot of thoughts are flooding my mind. Since talking to you these days is proving to be a little difficult, I thought, I might as well pen down my thoughts.
I know that life’s not really shaping the way we all would have wanted it to. You have different expectations from life, and we are still a little old school but still at the end of the day, like any doting parents, we just wish well for you.
So here are some pointers I’d like to share with you. Do take out some of your precious time to read them.
1.     Set your priorities right – I know this is quite a debatable one given that you have a different set of priorities but I still thought I should let you know, that you need to think over it again.

2.     Limit your time on your gadgets – Say whatever you want to, but you really need to cut down time on those gadgets.

3.     Spend some quality time with us – I know what you’re going to say. You’ll say that we don’t have that time for you but my dear, quality time can be anywhere, anytime. While having food, while driving, while hitting bed…..just about any time.

4.     Make more friends – As much as we would like to have you all for ourselves yet we can’t be the only people in your life forever. You’d need a set of friends on whom you can depend, those with whom you can share your secrets, those with whom you can experience something new…maybe whacky!

5.     Laugh more often – This house and our lives get brightened up with your laughter, so laugh my child, we love to have our home reverberate with your candid laughter.

6.     Have fun in life- Though this might appear a contradictory statement in light of the priority thing I wrote above yet that and this are two completely different things. Enjoy life as this time will never come again. Live every moment of it.

7.     Be true to yourself – Now this one is very important. Even though you are my baby and you’re mine in flesh and blood yet no one understands a person as much as he himself does. So, son, stay true to yourself at all times because when you think you are deceiving someone, it is actually no one but you yourself, whom you are deceiving.

8.     Love yourself – This one definitely is the most important cause if you do not love yourself you will never be able to love anyone. Accept yourself with your goodness and vices. Brace your evil with love and you will be able to transform it magically to goodness. You my love, have the power to shape your life into anything you want to and if you’ll truly love yourself then you will be proud of your architecture one day.

Looks like this is it for now. I’m sure you’ll call this nagging but believe me, it’s not. It’s just my love poured out into the form of a letter. 
I may not be the best mother but I’m trying my best.
I love you sweetheart. God bless you.
Lots of love,

Your doting maa

BULLYING

BULLYING

Your child comes back from school, you stand there waiting with a smile on your face and loving welcoming words…….you expect an equally warm response but what you get is an irritable, irascible child who is in no mood to exchange loving words with you. You feel shattered, start wondering what is it that you have done to upset your child, fret about it and eventually end up distraught!
Does this sound familiar? Could you visualise the scene or are you the one who has recently started facing this? Well, if you did, don’t think you are alone. There are countless parents who are facing this situation on a daily basis and the root cause of this could be completely different from what you are thinking.
In today’s fast paced world, the way children lead their lives, has completely transformed. We as parents give them whatever their heart desires, take them on exotic holidays, dine in expensive restaurants and are happy to assume that life is hunky dory for our child. Delve a little deeper and you might be able to figure out that your child, though superficially seems happy, is actually unhappy. Try finding out, and what unfolds, might be something you could have never imagined in your wildest dreams….your child is a victim of bullying!!!
You might not want to believe in it at first, maybe get into a state of denial. Why! My child is an academic achiever, he excels in every activity, how could he possibly get bullied? Well the sad truth is, a lot many children face this problem and it has only gone worse with the digitalization of the world.

FOUR REASONS WHY CHILDREN ARE BULLIED:

·        Being academically bright – I know many of you will gasp in disbelief at this but believe it or not, the academic achievers are more often than not, targets of bullying. Since they seem to be standing out from the crowd and get the attention of everyone, they are eyed as a potential threat by the bullies of the class. The bullies don’t want the attention to shift from them onto such children so they try to wreck the confidence of these children and quite often are successful at that.
So, if you have noticed a dramatic fall in the grades of your super achiever child, you might want to check this out.

·        Being an introvert – We all know that extroverts find life simple as they can speak up whatever they want and whenever they want. However, life for an introvert is not that easy. They mostly like to keep to themselves, and thus end up becoming socially awkward. Enter the bullies…who are on the lookout for a timid child who wouldn’t have the courage to report any wrong being done against her/him.

·        Physical appearance -Yes, my folks! This one is high on the probability chart! Haven’t we all had either a plump or an extremely skinny child in the class, someone with thick rimmed glasses, someone with a lisp or someone with an uncharacteristically different voice? Do we remember the labels they all got and were stuck with them throughout school? I, for instance can clearly recall how the plump girls would be referred to as moti bhains, the thin girls as sookhi dandi, the ones with spectacles as chasmish and so on….the list is endless.
The students poking fun at these students might consider it as harmless fun but they forget that what is fun for them is tearing someone apart. Students are unable to cope with this trauma and start having a low self-esteem which further propels bullying as they start appearing as weaklings who will not put up a fight and voila! The bullies have their crowning glory!

·        Being academically weak -While we just mentioned being academically bright as one reason, ironically, students who are academically weak or have a learning disability are often sneered at too. The moment they falter while reading a lesson in class, there’s a wave of jeers and titters. Such children are called ‘dim witted’, ‘dull’, ‘donkey’ and what not. This leaves a permanent scar on their lives.

Once we know our child is being bullied, the natural question that arises is, how can we as parents stop it. Let’s explore some ways:

1.     Assure your child that she/he is not alone in this problem and you are with her/him. Children always look up to their parents for help and this should be taken care of.

2.     Affirm that it is not their fault- Children who are bullied often start believing that somehow it is their own fault that they are being bullied. Ensure that you positively counsel your child so that he does not hold herself/himself responsible for being bullied.


3.     Teach your child ways and means in which she/he can confront the bully. You could teach your child to be firm in his replies and pretend to be unaffected. Phrases like, “You can keep saying what you feel like”, “Suit yourself”, “I really don’t care what you say” and walking away from the scene can go a long way in defusing the situation.
4.     Finally, if nothing seems to work, it is imperative on your part as a parent to bring this to the notice of the school authorities.

As mentioned earlier, bullying is becoming more rampant with the advancement in technology. What was limited to physical or verbal bullying earlier has now taken the ugly form of emotional bullying. Cyber bullying is on the rise. Children are being trolled on the internet and the situation is only going from bad to worse.

Bullying is not normal behaviour. No child, irrespective of any factor, deserves to be bullied. Bullying is totally unacceptable and there should be no irresolution or hesitation in addressing it.

Friday 4 August 2017

Julley Leh Ladakh!

                                              Julley! Leh Ladakh


Planning or No planning -

Heading to a quiet hill station as soon as our summer vacations would begin, was on the top of our minds. We kept shortlisting places, deciding upon itineraries, planning our available dates and a lot of other stuff but as the time drew closer, we were just not being able to zero in on some place. North-East was going to get affected by monsoon, the airfare to Leh was skyrocketing, the route to Binsar-Munsyari was plagued by bad roads, Sirmaur was coming out to be quite a long drive etc. The biggest drawback was that we were looking for solitude and all we were getting to hear was gory tales of traffic jam en-route all hill stations. To go to every off beat destination, one had to compulsorily navigate through those same roads and getting stuck in traffic and spending hours cribbing on roads was definitely not our idea of a holiday. So when we had almost given up the thought of going on any sort of holiday, a sudden flash of thought crossed our minds. We realized that we should make one last effort cause we don’t want to be the ones who fail to decide upon anything and then just as the holidays are about to get over, become desperate to go just anywhere so as not to be left out of the holiday mood.

Late at night, we sat down to check out the airfare for Leh and surprisingly the airfare had dipped down to almost half of what was two months ago. It still was pretty high but certainly not in the unreasonable sector. Our spirits got lifted as this was like a silver lining in the dark cloud and since we had planned for the Leh trip earlier, we had our itinerary and list of taxi drivers intact. That was the initiation of our trip.
Early next morning, we woke up, started calling up taxi drivers, finalized on one, discussed our itinerary with him, fixed up the price and then booked our flights to Leh for the very next morning.

With only one day in hand, we set down to make suitable arrangements for flying out for our holiday. The excitement was surging and all focus was on making our holiday perfect.

Our first stint with Leh -
The day finally arrived, and we reached the airport in time. The flight was smooth and soon we were witnessing snow-covered peaks beneath the sheet of white clouds. As soon as we landed we started worrying as our phones were not getting any signals but on moving out of the airport, much to our relief, our host, Mr. Sonam Angchok was there to receive us.
He drove us to his home which in in Gompa Village of Leh. It turned out to be a beautiful cottage in a serene locality with a brook flowing nearby. We were shown to the first floor of the wooden house, which had sunlight streaming in from the large glass windows. It was warm and welcoming. The upper floor had a day room cum dining room and two bedrooms for us to use. As the oxygen level drops drastically due to a sudden increase in the altitude, it is advisable to stay indoors for at least 24 hours for acclimatization. We did just the same - ate, slept and sat in the day room through the day. At night sleep overtook us and we hit the bed early. The weather of Leh makes one feel too sleepy and so we slept like a log, waking up straight the next morning and still feeling groggy.

Day 2 – After the mandatory acclimatization, we decided the venture out for some local sightseeing. After a scrumptious breakfast, we set out for Sangam, which is the converging point of two rivers, Zanskaar and Indus.
On the way to Sangam, there is a magnetic hill. It is surprising to see the effect that hill has on the vehicle. One can put the car in neutral and the car moves uphill on its own, albeit at a slow speed but the effect is worth experiencing.

We then headed towards Sangam view-point. It is always wonderful to see waters of two different colours merging into one. The colour wasn’t still quite green owing to the first waters of melting snow. After the initial batch of snow melts, the water becomes clearer and more beautiful.

Our next stop was the Army museum. Just outside the museum, they have created an adventure zone for children and young adults. From the Burma Bridge, flying fox, rope climbing, net walking to crawling inside a tiny tunnel, the place offers a basic sneak peak into the tough training of the army folks. Much to our adoration, Ansh, performed each task meticulously. The museum houses arte facts and photographs of major incidents, the Indo-China and Kargil war memorials, and weapons seized from our opponents. It is spine chilling to read letters of soldiers from both sides of the border. The museum has a hall of fame, which makes people proud of their Army men.
As Leh was observing some local puja that day, the entire market was closed till 1300 hrs. After the visit to these places, we were famished and were looking forward to having some delicious food. We strolled around in the vicinity till shops started opening and we hit the Lamayuru CafĂ©. Wanting to taste 3 different dishes, we ordered for Tibetan Thupka, Israeli Lafa and Pad Thai Noodles. While the thupka could have been spicier, the other two dishes turned out to be super delicious. We rotated food and ate to our hearts content topping it up with “Hello to the Queen” dessert. The best part was that unlike other tourist places, food wasn’t insanely priced here.

Now it was time to buy some little souvenirs so we walked into the Tibetan refugee market and bought some little things. The rest of the market was also similar and had attractive colourful objects on display. Our next stop was the Leh Palace, almost in ruins but still worth a visit to see how modestly the royals of Leh lived and how with so much difficulty they must have constructed the palace so long ago.

We then went to the Shanti Stupa, located on a hill and the atmosphere there was absolutely serene.

The day winded up with dinner cooked by our lovely host.

Day 3- Trip to Nubra Valley

Since it was to be a round trip the same day, we started early morning at 6. We were advised to carry gloves, caps and jackets as it would be cold on the way. This was the day when we would be at Khardung La – The world’s highest motorable road at a height of 18,460ft. The feeling of being at such a place gave us an instant high. We reached Khardungla top at 8, and even during peak summers, the temperature at the top was freezing. We clicked a few quick pictures and jumped into the cab to avoid being frozen.

The road further was in bad shape and was an extremely bumpy ride. Kudos to the drivers who navigate such roads everyday! However traumatic the drive was, it was made enjoyable by the snow-capped mountains on either side of the road. The view was enigmatic!

After a 5 hours drive, we reached Hunder.

The landscape changed completely!!! From snow covered mountains to sand dunes – it was in complete contrast!

Hunder is famous for its sand dunes and its small population of double humped or Bactrian camels from Mongolia. We were looking forward to see these rare creatures and wanting to ride them. The camels were definitely worth looking at. They looked so vastly different from the regular ones we see. These camels had fur on their body and looked as if they had long beards.

We selected the camels with the most evident double humps and went for a short safari.

As Ladakh is the land of monasteries, one cannot avoid these beautiful and peaceful monasteries which are present in almost every village. Keeping that in mind, our next stop was Diskit Monastery. The main attraction of this monastery is a huge figure of Lord Buddha painted aesthetically in myriad colours and placed out in the open so that it can be seen from quite a distance. We were completely enamored by the beauty of the statue!
It was time to head back to Leh as one needs to cross the police check post of North Pullu within a certain time frame, else they won’t allow you to do so. Since we hadn’t eaten anything as such, we stopped at a roadside stall for some chowmein and maggi (the staple diet when in hills). On the way we spotted loads of female yaks grazing in the scanty fields. By the time, we crossed the checkpost of North Pullu, it had started snowing. Ansh was thrilled to see fresh flakes of snow falling on him and rolled down the window to be able to get a proper feel. We stepped down from the cab for a short while and savored the pleasure of soft cottony snow falling on us. It was still not very late in the evening but we decided to get back to our cozy homestay and were welcomed back by our host with some hot tea and milk. We spent the rest of the evening relaxing and drinking the beauty of the nature that the window view offered us from our day room. The day again wrapped up with some piping hot food served lovingly by our host.


Day 4 – The mesmerizing Pangong Lake

Pangong Lake has its own History. It is a huge lake almost like a sea, spanning kilometers and kilometers and is shared by India and China. Earlier India had a major portion of the lake but during the Indo-China war of 1962, China captured a large area of the lake.

This day was reserved for a visit to this famous lake along with a night stay by the lake. We started at 7 in the morning and in about 3 hours, reached at Changa-La peak. This peak is at a height of 17,688ft. It was covered in snow and fresh snow was falling, to the delight of the tourists. The beauty of the snowflakes falling on us and the feeling it rendered, is indescribable. We hopped back into the cab to head further but the pleasure we had experienced a short while ago, turned into disappointment as we got stuck in a traffic jam for about an hour and a half. Since it was snowing, the roads were getting slippery and some inexperienced drivers were facing difficulty in driving through the area. This made the road get stuck with vehicles. It was however noteworthy that none of the drivers were losing their cool and were patiently waiting for the road to get cleared.

Once cleared, the drive to Pangong Lake was engaging. One couldn’t hold back emotions while passing through the gorgeous landscape. From the scenic snow covered mountains, to the colourful mineral laden mountains, to loose mud or rocky-mountains, every turn on the road had something beautiful to offer to the eyes.
We stopped to have some lunch, which comprised of soup, thupka and aloo paratha. We were so hungry that we quickly lapped up whatever came in front of us. At around 2:30, we reached Pangong Lake. We were stupefied by the magnanimity of the lake!

The lake is of a beautiful greenish-blue colour and is a visual treat for the onlooker. Very few people knew about this lake until the movie, 3 Idiots, shot its finale sequence by this lake and then many other movies followed suit. The entry point of the lake was filled with tourists, people with yaks for posing, Kareena Kapoor scooter and the famous 3 Idiots stool. This was an eyesore in the serenity of the place so we avoided the place and moved further down the lake. At a certain point, many tents were clustered and we decided to stay at the one closest to the lake.

By then the wind had picked up quite strongly and its was getting extremely difficult to stay outdoors. The tent owner told us that it is an everyday phenomenon. The wind blows strongly every evening. This was a setback for us as we had come to drink in the beauty of the lake but drinking even a sip of water was proving to be impossible. It was dull inside the tents and so we were left with no choice but the brave the winds and walk along the lake. We were soon left gasping for breath in the bitter cold accompanied by biting winds and had to rush indoors. This was a mood spoiler and by night we were regretting our decision of spending the night at such a place as it seemed more of a punishment than a holiday. We had an early dinner and retired to bed, only to be woken up by the sound of some Bollywood music being played outside. A young couple had lighted a small fire and was sitting there enjoying the music. They insisted upon us joining them and we eventually gave in after some reluctance. We had an entertaining conversation with them and at midnight, parted ways.
The next morning, we were to leave for another lake called Tso Moriri lake, but the hardships of this place dampened our spirits. We were struggling to survive in the bitter cold of this place. The water running from the taps was like direct molten ice and we couldn’t take it anymore. Also the road to Tso Moriri was in bad shape so we decided to cancel our visit to Tso Moriri and head back to Leh instead.
The next morning, we woke up and informed our driver about our change in plan and he happily agreed to bring us back to Leh. On our way back, we visited the “Druk White Lotus School” popularly known as Rancho School (after Amir Khan’s character in 3 Idiots). We also visited the stunning Thiksey Monastery, which has an amazing character and feel. The sounds of the chants emanating from the monastery left us spellbound.
Then we stopped for some lunch in Leh Market. This time we ate at the German Bakery and the food was decently good here as well with some lip smacking bakery delights. We then headed back to our comfort zone in Leh, our lovely homestay. This place made us feel really comfortable and relaxed. Owing to our tiredness, we again had an early dinner and retired to bed.

Day 5- Total relaxation!

This was the first day of our holiday when we didn’t have any plans for the day. That meant we could wake up late, laze in bed and do whatever we felt like. At 8:30, we had a fulfilling breakfast and then spent the rest of the morning admiring the snow covered mountains in the distance, listening to the sound of the brook flowing nearby and basking in the sun, which streamed in through the large glass paneled windows of our day room.  Sometimes just doing nothing gives you immense pleasure. With no signals in the phone, no wi-fi and no household work to finish, this was a day of total relaxation.
The only time we felt the need to go out was when our stomachs started growling in hunger for lunch.








Points to note:

1.     Since Leh Ladakh shares its border with Pakistan, China and even Afghanistan, prepaid mobile phones do not work here. Only Airtel and BSNL postpaid services offer some connectivity although some areas like Pangong Lake still do not get any coverage. So no phone and data network.
2.     The oxygen level is quite low and lungs do not perform to full capacity, so it is extremely important to be physically fit and then to acclimatize yourself for a minimum of 24 hours before you start exploring the place. Diamox is a medicine,which gives relief from altitude sickness symptoms. You can get your oxygen level checked at the tourist information center in Leh market.
3.     The roads are in a pretty bad shape with long stretches of kuchcha road. So brace yourself for a bumpy ride and make sure your driver is experienced.
4.     There are many avalanche prone areas mid-way, so heed the warning signs and don’t insist on stopping at such places for pictures no matter however tempting those snow-white mountains appear.
5.     Carry suitable winter clothing as in all probability you will experience spine chilling cold.
6.     Taxi Union rates are fixed and you might find them quite high but there is generally no bargaining. If you are lucky, your driver might offer you a 5-10% discount.
7.     People in Leh are still not corrupt and are quite hospitable.


Recommended driver –

Mr. Sonam Angchok (an ex-army guy). He is a mature and experienced driver and navigates the tough terrain with ease.
Contact Numbers – 9419347945, 9622361980

Recommended stay
If you are looking for a simple and quiet place, then Mr. Sonam’s homestay is definitely worth a shot. His wife (a school teacher),is a wonderful host and cooks tasty food, serving it with even more love. Though the cottage is at a distance from the main market but if solitude is what you want, then this is the place to be. 
  

Thursday 9 March 2017

Women's Day - What's in ONE day?

ALL THE "HUNGAMA" ABOUT WOMEN’S DAY


Scores of wishes on facebook, loads of forwards on whatsapp and too many advertisements trying to cash on the sentiment….that was how eventful, the 8th of March, 2017 was. Well it wasn’t an ordinary day after all! It was one of the most widely celebrated days – International Women’s Day.

Image result for women's day photos
While everyone around me exults in the glory of the day, this “special day” always makes me feel very bitter. Call me negative, regressive or whichever adjective suits you best, but this day doesn’t make me excited at all. On the contrary, it annoys and angers me tremendously. For all you those wondering what’s wrong with me, let me tell you, it’s not me. It is WHERE and HOW we live.

The whole world celebrates women on this special day but what are we Indians celebrating this day for? One odd day, India suddenly decides to make its’ women folk feel great about themselves. There will be a card and flowers from the HR department, a box of chocolates from someone, some beautiful inspirational quotes on your FB wall, some emotional messages on your whatsapp, too many advertisements celebrating the successful woman, restaurants and cafes selling deals, jewellery and apparel stores offering discounts and then, the very next day, all of this just fizzles out….I repeat…. just fizzles out…. like the fizz of a soda.

Is this, what women deserve? Just one fancy day to celebrate womanhood? Out of 365 days, we idolise women on this ONE day and on ALL the other days, we are happy to treat them like crap! We Indians are comfortable in objectifying women, in treating them as one’s own personal property, in slut shaming them whenever we feel like, not batting an eyelid before saying something derogatory to them, violating their modesty at our own free will and then on the 8th of March, we will celebrate Women’s Day!

Image result for woman crimes images

Why should we celebrate it? Oh yes! I know the answer. The entire world is celebrating it, then why should we be left behind. However much like a prawn we are, spineless and with a head full of shit, yet we don’t want to be labelled as backward. Do we? What a colossal shame!

So, for all the wonderful Indians who banked upon the idea of celebrating Women’s Day, in whichever way suited them best, please refrain from doing so in the future. Not until we Indians are actually prepared for it. By preparation I mean, respect all the worthy women in your life (I’m sure most of them will be). As they say, everything begins at home. So instead of looking outside, first learn to respect your mother, who works tirelessly for you; your sister, who cares for you; your wife, who does everything for you because she loves you and your daughter, who deserves to choose a happy life for herself.

Image result for woman crimes images

Once you’ve learnt this, you will automatically learn to respect every other woman. Respect them in the actual sense. Don’t mistake their friendliness for flirtatiousness, don’t mistake their way of dressing for an open invitation, don’t look down upon her if she chooses to party late into the night with her friends, don’t think she’s available if she’s alone, don’t judge her for the choices she makes and most importantly – don’t mistake her love for you to be her weakness.

India will be in position to celebrate Women’s Day, the day our women feel safe on the roads, the day they are not victimised for being a woman, the day when they are not thrown acid at, the day when they are not leered at, the day when no one feels them up in a crowded place, the day when they have no apprehensions of leaving home after dark, the day when no one walks up to them at the bar with the line – “Waiting for someone or waiting for just anyone?”

Image result for woman crimes images

That is the day, when India will actually be prepared to celebrate Women’s Day, and why just one day, every day then will be a celebration.
Until then, there’s absolutely no point in it. A woman definitely deserves a lot more than just one day to glorify her.


Image credits: Google




The horrific paedophiles!

                         Paedophiles around! Beware!!!

Recently the newspapers of Delhi were flooded with news of a paedophile named Sunil Rastogi who was apprehended on the complaint of parents whose daughters could have been victims of this man’s carnal desires had they not raised an alarm in time.

The man when caught, claimed to have sexually abused over 500 girl children over a span of 12 years!!!

This revelation is so spine chilling! Imagine a man who is a serial rapist, has been freely roaming around for the last twelve years.

Such disturbing news pieces, make it important for parents, to sit back and think deeply about paedophiles.

·        So, who exactly is a paedophile?

Not going into the technicalities and making it simple, a paedophile is an adult who is sexually attracted towards children specifically those who have not yet attained puberty.

It isn’t that parents are not aware of such people existing in the society but it is extremely important to identify them in the first place. Not that it is easy task, but a little alertness can go a long way in saving your child from being victimized.

A paedophile does not stand out from the crowd, in fact such people easily merge with the crowd and so go unidentified.
·        In most cases paedophiles are known to the child.

The movie, Kahaani 2, had the gory tale of a little girl being sexually molested by her own uncle! However strange it may sound, studies reveal that in 30% cases of child molestation, predators are close family members. While this is shocking for most of us, those who have undergone such trauma will vouch for it.

If not a family member, then around 60% cases have molesters, who were known to the child and their family.
Isn’t it sad to think that a person whom the child and the family trusts, turns out to be the same person who scars the future of the child forever?

·        Though not evident, still there are certain identifiable characteristics of paedophiles.

A paedophile doesn’t show much interest in adults and likes to be with children. To be able to be amongst children, they take up jobs which will let them interact more with children. They refuse to treat children as babies and try to interact with them as adults often referring to them as they would to an adult lover.

Being good with children and enjoying their company doesn’t necessarily mean that a person is a paedophile, so please don’t go maniac about it. Just keep an eye on the way that person is interacting with your child. A paedophile will normally try to gain the trust of a child and slowly involve the child in sexual games, expose them to porn videos and encourage them to keep secrets from their parents.

Now that we know, who and how threatening paedophiles are, the big question is what should parents do?

The first thing that parents should do is –

·        Educate your child :

The first and most important step is to educate your child. It is important that children are educated about good touch and bad touch from very early in life. If you are not being able to understand how to do it, seek the help of the internet. You will come across various animated videos which will make it easier for you to communicate what you want, to your child in a way , she/he understands best.Children are way smarter than we think and will be able to differentiate between the two easily if their parents have pre-warned them.

·        Develop a bond :

It is imperative that parents develop a deep bond with their children. Whether you’re a working parent or a homemaker, either ways, you should not let your child be emotionally detached from you. Talk to your child frequently so that the child knows that she/he can trust you no matter what happens.
This bond developing does not happen overnight. It is a slow process which starts from when the child is an infant. So don’t wait for any special moment but continuously work on the trust building factor right from the time you become a parent.

·        Be vigilant :

Always ensure that you know the whereabouts of your child. If your child uses private transport (like a car) to school, try to have someone accompany the child. 
In case the child uses school transport, make sure that the bus has suitable arrangements in place like a nanny to accompany the children.
If you send your child to a day care, be sure that the place is equipped with CCTV cameras so that nobody can try any wrong move with your child. Insist on seeing the footage from time to time so that the day care authorities and workers know that they are being monitored.

When playing outdoors,check out if someone is showing extra interest in your child and see if your child is playing with children much above her/his age.
Keep having regular conversation with your child so that they can confide in you if there is anything amiss.

·        Never blame or quieten your child :

Experiencing the worst, if your child has somehow been sexually victimised, the worst one can do as a parent is to blame the child for the act or trying to suppress the incident due to fear of public shaming. If at all your child has fallen prey to a paedophile’s sinister moves, then you must do all you can to comfort your child. It is your duty as a parent to ease out the trauma of the child. However shattering it might be for you as a parent, it is far more traumatic for the child who has undergone it, so gather all your strength and give your child abundant love and care required to deal with the trauma.

Another mistake that parents often make is to quieten the child for fear of public shaming. This is the worst mistake they can make as not only does it scar your child’s psyche, it also lets a paedophile go loose to commit such crimes further. The child in no way is responsible for such an act so one must never blame the child for this. The person who is actually responsible for this must be sent behind bars immediately.

Though the society is flooded with all sorts of crimes these days, rape, molestation and any other form of sexual abuse is the worst form of crime. It is extremely traumatic for the survivor to go on with a regular life after having experienced something as horrific as this. We, as responsible citizens of the society must try to prevent such incidents from happening and if we come across someone who has been victimised, then do all we can to make that person bounce back to life.







Friday 6 January 2017

A tribute to the legendary actor Om Puri

                                                              The legendary Om Puri

Friday, the 6th of January 2017, didn’t turn out to be a happy day for the film fraternity as well as many theatre lovers all across India. The legendary actor of Indian cinema, Om Puri, passed away after a massive heart attack.

Born to a non-filmy family in Punjab, Om Puri was always passionate about theatre and joined the NSD to accomplish his desire. He went on to act in several Hindi, Marathi, Punjabi, British and American movies and TV Series. His stellar performances made him win many awards including Filmfare, National and the coveted Padma Shri in the year 1990.

Image result for om puri

His role as a police officer in the 1983 cop film, Ardh Satya, made him a known face among all cinema-goers. The zeal and passion with which he approached his characters and his distinct voice, made him climb high in the popularity chart of Indian Cinema.

During his career, he contributed to mainstream commercial films, art films, lend voice over to animated characters, anchored a few shows and even worked on the small screen.

His voice over for Bagheera in the famous movie Jungle book, in the year 2016, cannot be forgotten.
Through his performances, Om Puri always came across as a serious man, however, his comic side came to the forefront with shows on Indian television like Kakka Ji Kahin (in which he played the funny kakka ji) & Mr. Yogi (in which he played the sutradhar).

A career which started in the year 1972, went on successfully till the year 2016. His last appearance on screen was as a lohar in the movie Mirzya. However, his fans will still be able to see him in 4 upcoming movies, 2 Kannada, 1 English and 1 Pakistani movie this year.

His personal life was tainted with accusations of being abusive to his 2 wives, however, we shall refrain from commenting upon this issue at such a time.

This post mainly aims at honouring a man whose versatile performances kept us all entertained over the past 44 years.

Om Puri ke liye OM SHANTI !

PC: Google.


Thursday 5 January 2017

Splendid Kashmir

                                                  Splendid Kashmir - Guide to Kashmir


Splendid Kashmir 12 June 2014

Splendid Kashmir Highlights :

Food to Relish - Wazwan ( Rista/Gushtaba/Yakhni/Roghan Josh/ Waaza Chicken etc)
Drink to Relish - Kahwa ( Kashmiri Tea)
Snacks to relish - Trout fish at Abdul Rasheed’s Shikara @ Dal Lake
Cakes - Dry fruit cake and Plum cake


The scorching sun and the cool breeze…..the lush green mountains and the grazing sheep……the river flowing by the road and the snaking streets…..Kashmir is a total delight for all those who long for a cool retreat! …….said, “If there is heaven on Earth, then it is in Kashmir.” The beauty of Kashmir is surreal . It’s beauty is beyond compare. Words fall short when one makes an attempt to describe the beauty of this paradise.

Terrorism had infested this divine place in the eighties and nineties, thus bringing tourism to a halt. The divinity of Kashmir could not be experienced by nature enthusiasts for over a decade thus breaking a lot many hearts. Ever since, I grew up, I garnered a desire to witness the enthralling and rapturing beauty of Kashmir. We planned to visit it for our honeymoon but the fear of getting our lives ended even before we embarked onto our marital journey deterred us from going there. 11 years later, the opportunity came in the form of an invitation from a family member. Tickets done, packing done, we were all set to explore this gorgeous place on earth.

This article deals with our fun and travails during our Kashmir visit.

Day 1 : Flight from New Delhi to Srinagar -
Tip - Ensure a web check in before your flight.

We forgot to do this and ended up with separate seats. Romance goes for a toss ….sigh!!!! First sign of relief…..a view of the snow covered peaks. Beauty! Reached Srinagar airport and were glad to have a quick checkout. Destination - our houseboat in Nigeen Lake. To reach the houseboat, we had to use the Shikara (first sign of fun). Freshening up quickly, we took a shikara ride to the famous Dal Lake. It was a lovely backwater experience. Wading through the weeded waters of the lakes, having a glimpse of the lakeside locals, the lament at the sight of abandoned houses of the Kashmiri Pundits…..the ride was like a walk through the history of Kashmir.

The backwaters opened up into the happening Dal Lake. It was abuzz with activities. The highlight was the Meena Bazar which was bustling with shoppers waiting to grab a piece of Kashmir for themselves. The lake was flooded with shikaras all over, with some shikaras also selling food items. Hubby and little boy has a quick bite at tandoori trout fish. The expressions were yummy! Some shopping at the Meena Bazar myself and then dinner at Stream Restaurant. Back to the houseboat to catch some good sleep in preparation for an action packed day 2.

Highlight at the restaurant - Pasta Arabiatta.
Quick tip : Nigeen Lake is a very quiet lake in Srinagar. If opting for a peaceful holiday, stay at Nigeen Lake.

Day 2 : Day trip to Sonmarg -
Tip - The ghoda-wallahs will pester you like anything. Check out the rates at the Kashmir govt. tourism office right at the foot of the hill from where the journey to Thajiwas glacier starts.

Booked a taxi for all our forthcoming days in Kashmir. Headed to Sonmarg to witness our first Kashmiri snow :-) Delight gripped my sonny boy on sighting the very first glimpses of snow. It was supposedly his first stint with the white beauty and he was looking forward to it with much anticipation and excitement. On reaching, we were immediately swarmed by the ghoda-wallahs , all trying to fool us. Not to be taken for a ride, we decided to check out the government rates and then settled in for Rs. 1000/ person return trip to and from Thajiwas Glacier. We booted up to be able to save our shoes from getting wet.

The ride was just an average one but as soon as we reached the glacier, we were enthralled! All around there was so much beauty, that our jaws dropped with amazement. For the first time in my life was I encountering such beauty with my own two eyes! The sledge-wallahs, the chai walls, the ski-wallahs, and the kesar/ shilajeet wallahs constantly endeavour to annoy you and spoil your fun. All you need to do is be firm and tell them to move away. You can only absorb the purity of the place when you pave your way up the mountain, away from the maddening crowd. That’s exactly what we did, and it was indeed sheer bliss.

We could have sat there for ages had the time not been pressing us to return. We returned to the base, quickly boarded our taxi and started our drive back to Srinagar. Dinner and then tucked away in beds. House Boat Meal 

Day 3 : Day trip to Gulmarg -
Tip - Get your Gondola tickets booked at the TRC/ online through travel agents to avoid the ticket buying queue. By all means, avoid the touts.

The third day of our trip was indeed most annoying. Having booked our tickets for the gondola through the government TRC office, we were happy to avoid the long queue at the ticket booking counter but shockingly we were in for something even worse.

On reaching Gulmarg, we got to know that the Gondola was not functioning due to some technical fault. Crap! One full day ruined. Anyways, even for getting a refund, we had to get our tickets stamped so we decided to walk up to the office. Reaching there we discovered that there was some scope of restoration so we decided to try our luck. Standing in the scorching sun for 5 hours, we finally got our boarding passes as the gondola had restarted. Heaving a sigh of relief, we sat in the gondola, got down at phase 1 (Gulmarg to Kungdoor) and immediately boarded the gondola to phase 2 (Kungdoor to Apharwat).

That was the highlight of the day. Standing at a height of 14,000 ft above sea level, we were marvelled by the aura of the place. The skies resonated with our excitement. LOC was actually visible from there….Little snow flakes started falling from above as if to bless us. We were lost in our surroundings, when we were told that the weather is worsening and we need to head back. The gondola line was again chaotic and slow. We somehow managed to board one and reached phase 1. Snow eluded us here as it had melted away and was now at a distance. That too was dirty and muddy and we had no intentions of spoiling our mood.

Next we planned to get back to the base but were informed that the gondola had snapped yet again! Braving the conditions, we decided that we couldn't wait anymore and so planned to walk down. It was an hour long walk down a hilly terrain with obviously not the right shoes (we were wearing gumboots for the snow) and could have proved painful but for our cheery spirits :-)

Leading us was Ansh, who almost ran down the entire hill and reached the base a good 15-20 minutes before us. The walk down was great though. Rocks and streams came as hurdles in our way but we overcame then jubilantly. Finally the day ended and we headed back to Srinagar. On the way we stopped to meet relatives at Tangmarg and it was great meeting with them.

Later we had dinner at the famous Mughal Darbar restaurant. Food was good but the service was really slow and inadequate. Hoping for the following day to be better, we quickly made our way to sleep.

Day 4 - Day trip to Yousmarg
Tip - Don’t compare the ghoda-wallahs here with the ones at Gulmarg and Sonmarg. The ones at Yousmarg are way better.

Not wanting a horse ride anymore we were determined to walk our way around in Yousmarg. First, we headed to Doodh Ganga. Ansh was thrilled at the prospect of a horse ride and we wanted him to enjoy his trip to the fullest. So we got him a horse and walked along with him. Reaching the Doodh Ganga, we were glad that there were no annoying tourists around. It was a peaceful place. My hubby and son in fact, had a real time chilling experience when they put their feet in the waters of the stream. It was freezing cold!!!!

A ghoda wallah came over to ask us if we were wishing to see a few more beautiful points. Since he didn’t quote any amount, we were convinced that he wouldn’t fool us. We made up our minds to give this ride a try and believe me, This was the best horse ride we had ever had in our entire life till now. The men took us through the forests, by the streams, under the trees and by the grazing sheep.

The scene looked straight out of some fairy tale and we felt like king, queen and prince respectively. The sights were captivating. We couldn’t keep our eyes off the beauty that captured our attention. We felt accomplished and satisfied. We felt at communion with nature. To add to our pleasure, the men here were not greedy hounds like the ones we had encountered in Sonmarg and Gulmarg. There simplicity and undisturbing attitude definitely made them get much more than they had thought of. They really and truly deserved it.

We wanted this ride to be never ending but again, we needed to head back to Srinagar and so we bade adieu to this gorgeous place. Returned to Srinagar. Checked into a houseboat on Dal Lake, had dinner and wrapped ourselves in the blankets for some sleep.

Quick Tip - Stay at Dal Lake and see the town bustling with activity

Day 5 - Day trip to Pahalgam
Tip : Try to limit yourself to visiting just about 3 points. Too many points will kill the fun and you’ll be like just run run….

Pahalgam is famous for its several scenic points and so we decided to explore it too. On the way we got down for some authentic  Kashmiri dry fruits and Kesar shopping. Having filled out shopping bags, we headed towards Pahalgam. The road was paved with apple tress which would be loaded with fruits in August (bad timing….we so wanted to bite into the juicy - red kashmiri apple). The taxi union at Pahalgam has its own rule that no outside taxi will be allowed to take tourists to the points.

At the taxi office, a board stating the various tourist points, along with the taxi charges were written. We were just 3 and the queue was snaking, so we decided to share the taxi with someone whose number was before us and if they too would want to share. Gladly for us, we were approached by an elderly Gujarati couple for sharing their taxi and we quickly agreed :-D

We arrived at the conclusion that we must just visit 3 points, namely the Betaab Valley, Aru Valley and Chandanwadi. The taxi driver drove rashly with us crossing our fingers to reach safe and sound. First stop, Aru valley…..just about an average place and so we moved out quickly without wasting much time. Next was Chandanwadi and on the way was Betaab Valley (which we had to visit while returning). Chandanwadi was again a snow clad mountain and by now we were completely not enthusiastic about wearing gum boots again so we ditched the idea of going into the snow but sent Ansh for a sledge ride. He loved it totally and while he had his share of fun, we happily nibbled onto corn on the cob :-)

Once he returned, we sat in the taxi and got off at Betaab Valley. This valley was earlier nameless and got its name only after Sunny Deol and Amrita Singh’s debut movie, Betaab was shot at this location. The place was taken over by multiple students from various schools and so we didn't spend much time there though it was definitely better than Aru Valley. Back to Pahalgam, we quickly sat in our own taxi and heaved a sigh of relief after the torturous driving of the Pahalgam driver.

On the way back, we stopped at the ruins of Avantipura temple to click some pictures. Once in Srinagar, we dined at the famous restaurant, Adoos. Excellent food and an even better hospitality. Must visit. Once we were out of the restaurant, it started raining and then it rained and thundered entire night!!!

Day 6 - Srinagar local sight seeing

Our eventful travelling had come to an end and today was the day for our local sight seeing. To our relief, Indra Devta had been merciful enough to stop the rains from ruining our day. Our first stop was Shankaracharya temple. Traffic jam forced us to walk quite a bit before we embarked onto our 256 stairs journey! It wasn’t an easy climb but our youth helped us and we managed :-) The temple was beautiful and even more beautiful was the view of Srinagar from there. The Dal Lake was dotted with houseboats and shikaras and they looked pretty from that distance.

Next we visited the Chashmeshahi , Nishat and Shalimar Gardens. They were rich with myriad colours of flowers but were crowded and not that pleasing. Out of the three, Nishat garden was the best. It must have been an eye tonic for the Mughal Emperors.

Having never visited a mosque, I was thrilled at the prospect of getting a chance to visit the famous Hazrat Bal Mosque. We did so and then was time for some quick shopping. Some shawls, some baskets and some Walnut wood showpieces. Shopping was indeed delightful! My boy was obsessed with 6 inches carved chess pieces which he wanted for himself. The price was 40,000!!! On hearing the price, he easily settled for a smaller and cheaper version of chess (the darling that he is). The day trip came to an end and then we went for a long walk at the edge of the Dal Lake. It was a scenic and soothing walk.

Day 7 - Back to Delhi 

The action packed holiday came to an end and we headed back HOME. Sunburnt and boiling, but still happy to be back home. Kashmir was indeed a pleasure. Our very own Switzerland…..heaven on Earth.