‘Virah’…….from Bandish Bandits!

Meri sakhi me ang ang aaj rang dar du

Meri sakhi me ang ang aaj rang dar du

Apne ji se prem rang kaise main utar du
Oo meri sakhi
Tere bina kahi bhi na vyakul man lage….
bin har sur taal saaje aaj tere aage

Nainan ko chain nahi rayn rayn jaage…
Ek pal me toot jaye saj ke ye thage
Tu jo mu phere sakhi de hain praan tyaage
Pal pal tu dekh mujhe zindgi guzaar du

Ooo meri sakhi me ang ang aaj rang dar du
Apne ji se prem rang kaise main utar du
Ooo meri sakhi

Teri sakhi teri sakhi teri sakhi
Ooo meri sakhi

(Music credits- Shankar Ehsaan Loy)

Virah…..the ‘Bhaav’ that caught my attention from the latest web series, Bandish Bandits, speaks volumes about the hypocrisy of the world we live in.

Though the story has this element as just one subtle part of the entire weave, yet this is what affected me the most. The system in India as we know it, is not just divided on the basis of economic disparity but also on the basis of castes and sub castes.

Every country has its own limitations and reservations when it comes to the union of two people but in India, there is an extremely complex game at play.

‘Maan’ – ‘Pratishtha’- ‘Samman’… These are the big words which are mouthed by the elders in the family in front of the children when they become of marriageable age. In India, children are brought up into believing that parents are akin to God and their decision must be final. Any child who dares to go against the will of parents, shall be subjected to expulsion from the household, not be allowed to carry the family name forward and in extreme cases, may also become victims of honour killing!

Sounds extreme, isn’t it?

“Oh! These things don’t exist these days.” “You must be talking of some old era.” “How can youngsters be penalized for making their own choices?” “It’s completely illegal!” This is what a large number of you would say.

Yeah of course, we live in big towns. Most of us have not seen such things but I’m not talking of some by gone era. Move just a few kilometres from the glitzy world of metros, into the smaller towns and villages, and you will find this happening everywhere; and we all very well know, that India is not just a few metro cities! The pulse of India lies in the large expanse of its villages.

I would say, all these big words like, ‘Maan, Pratishtha and Samman’ boil down to just one small three letter word and that word is EGO.

The size of the word is small but the weight it carries is immense!

In the show, ‘Bandish Bandits’, the patriarch has been shown to have a massive ego and despite committing gruesome crimes like abandonment and forceful/tactful separation, he is still revered by his family members. The devotion and dedication shown by the family members is such that it shakes you completely.

Panditji, the character played by Naseeruddin Shah, willfully leaves behind his wife and son in another town, and conveniently marries another woman and has two sons with her. Since he is a classical music prodigy, his first wife sends their son to be trained by him. Despite never getting the affection of his father and recognition as his son, the boy stays around for ten years showing utmost devotion to his father. Ego is at play for he never showers him with any love and treats him just as every other student.

Next, he is defeated in the most coveted music competition by a very young girl. To boost his ego, he devises a sinister plan and gets that girl married to his second son, even though he is informed well in time that the girl is madly in love with his first son. He does so because he knows that the first son would never let her quit music which was her dream, but his own ego was above everything. The first thing he commands the new bride to do was to give up her singing. The girl does so out of respect and the first son obviously heart broken, but still respectful of his father, leaves quietly.  

Not a word is said about anything and the family lives together, worshipping the patriarch and abiding by every rule and decision he makes.

This unquestionable reverence is what was quite disturbing for me. One can’t just command respect due to being in a certain position, it should be earned!

When it comes to children making their marital choices, Indian parents bring out their Ego in its strongest form.

I do understand that parents have wider knowledge and experience and at times they are right as they wish to protect their children. They could be analyzing situations keeping the happiness, comfort, and well-being of their children but many a times, their disapproval is just propelled by their inflated ego. That is detrimental, not only to the well-being of the child in question but also to the society at large as it sends across a very wrong signal.

What parents fail to understand is that they should counsel, advise and reason out with their children but not become obstacles in their life. Their love, devotion and respect towards their parents should not be used as a weapon for taking away their happiness.

So many couples have had to part ways due to this and have ended up suffering and pining for their lost love. This forcefully imposed decision does not just spoil the lives of those two lovers but also deadens the lives of the ones whom they get married to as they’re never able to overcome their feelings for their separated lovers. 

Thankfully, the urban scenario has changed quite a bit over the last decade. I can see that parents in cities are becoming flexible and accepting the choices and decisions of their children but still in many families, this system exists and is in no mood to die down.

The show ‘Bandish Bandits’ captures this system in a fantastic way. The youngest in the family, a twenty-one- year old young man, is also bound by shackles this so called ‘respect’. Thankfully, the patriarch realizes his folly after 26 long years and refrains from committing any further crimes against humanity, but it is a tad bit too late.

Meticulously made, with superb acting from the characters, the show is an absolute masterpiece! The Classical music renditions add to the charm of the show and the thumri – Virah is a heart stealer. The only thing you are left wishing is that the two lovers hadn’t been separated and wouldn’t have had to experience the bhaav, Virah.